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    some1somewhere's Avatar
    some1somewhere Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Aug 1, 2009, 02:38 PM
    Unable to forget her
    Hello Friends,

    First I’ll like to tell something about myself. I’m just a normal guy who likes to flirt and do whatever I like to do, but right now I’m totally out of my control.

    I had a relationship with a gal for four long years. We planned to get married. Initially my parents were not ready but I convinced them. Her parents were also convinced. But they were forcing me to get married as soon as possible. I'm just 25 now. And that time I was 23-24. I asked them to wait for some time so I can settle myself. 4 months back she got married to someone else. Who treats her badly in every sense (We're still in touch and she use to call me whenever she is hurt and she use to cry on phone). On the other hand I'm unable to forget her, there is not a single day when I don't think about her. I' have few pics of her and me together I use to see them... Sometimes I use think that I should visit to a psychiatrist. To be frank I don’t want to be in touch with her as I can’t see her unhappy.

    I’m totally confused.

    Can anybody help….!
    COCADA's Avatar
    COCADA Posts: 65, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
    		  
    #2

    Aug 1, 2009, 02:47 PM

    How has it been since you broke up ?
    some1somewhere's Avatar
    some1somewhere Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Aug 1, 2009, 03:16 PM
    Approximately 5 months...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #4

    Aug 4, 2009, 02:18 PM

    Was this an arranged marriage, just curious.

    I think you leave a married woman completely alone and get your own life together. 4 years is a long time so the healing will be a long time also.

    Above all, cut all contact with her.
    some1somewhere's Avatar
    some1somewhere Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #5

    Aug 4, 2009, 06:17 PM
    Thanks for you response..!

    Yes this was an arranged marrige...

    I already tried to cut off as I was shifted to a different city, I switched off both my old cell numbers and then suddenly one day I got her call on my new number... may be she got through orkut or some of our common friends... She didn't told me that...

    Please help me..!
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
    Senior Member
    		  
    #6

    Aug 4, 2009, 08:21 PM

    No Contact is done for yourself and you don't need her approval. If you see her number or if she calls be brief and polite. If she emails or text you, delete the messages. Cut all contact with her and take care of yourself.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #7

    Aug 4, 2009, 08:51 PM

    I agree with previous posts. Look after yourself.
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
    Senior Member
    		  
    #8

    Aug 4, 2009, 08:56 PM

    NC does wonders, my friend, but like Talaniman said, be prepared to be healing for a while.

    She's married now, and you can't do anything about it. But what you can do is put the pictures of you two away for a while, and be good to yourself.

    Go out with friends, work out, write, whatever it is you like to do, and do it. Find new hobbies, too. Finish a project you've been wanting to try for a long time.

    You'll feel good about yourself, and in time, the hurt will fade, and someone else will come along and make your heart soar once more.
    some1somewhere's Avatar
    some1somewhere Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #9

    Aug 4, 2009, 10:04 PM
    Thanks a lot my friends..!

    I'll try to follow whatever you suggested...

    Just a quick question do I need to visit a psychiatrist??
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
    Senior Member
    		  
    #10

    Aug 4, 2009, 10:06 PM

    I would definitely consider one to deal with potential depression and especially for your feelings of loss.


    But it's entirely up to you.
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