[XxarkangelxX]

Don't where to start I am so confused... My ex fiancé left me been together almost a year. She surprised me out of nowhere with this. She told me she was unhappy,empty, and wasn't sure if she wanted to be with me then why say yes when I proposed? Doesn't make any sense.
She was happy at first about being engaged then she had some family drama where she was so stressed out. I tried to be there for her but she didn't want to talk about it or anything then after a week later she dumps me. I want to be with her obviously but don't know what to do. She keep calling and texting me. I have tried the no contact but unfortunately I am having a hard time why? Because we were living together and the lease for the apartment is under my name and so is everything.I moved out immediately didn't want to stay for the fact it would do me no good.she was shocked when I moved out the next day.so I'm still helping her pay the rent.I told her she can keep everything the furniture,car,and the ring.
Her friend talked to me the other day telling me that she said that I was being too cold hearted because I don't call her or text or anything.
Her friend also mentioned that she wants to meet up but knows that I want her to chase me. I'm not playing games here I don't want her to play a cat and mouse game I want her to realize her mistake and want to be with me.her friend also told me that I should chase her because she's a woman and women are emotional I told her that I don't think I should why am I going to chase someone that doesn't want me.
My fiancée and I talked a day ago she said she still loves me and wants a relationship with me but right now she is depressed because of personal issues.im giving her the space she needs but don't know if that's helping.
I love her and don't want to lose her and it hurts that she let me go like nothing.is there any hope for getting back together.this was all lack of communication on both parts.what should I do any advice will help...

[MissRissa]

It sounds like she's confused. As for the no contact thing, everyone goes through what you feel when they start up NC. Nobody wants to stop talking to someone you cared about but the thing you have to. It's for the best, truly it is. You just have to build up the strength to ignore her calls and texts. It's all willpower.

[XxarkangelxX]

The thing it's hard because of the bills we have like the rent if everything goes wrong she screw me with the lease. I just seen her like an hour ago picked the mail and paid some bills. We talked for a little bit about what's going on. I said that it is hard to handle this that cannot be her friend even though I said that I was going to be there no matter what. I asked her a few questions like if she still has me in her heart and if I have a second chance she answered yes to both questions. She said she doesn't want me out of her life it's just that she has so much going through her head. She said she needs time to think about herself and she stills wants to make this work. She said that she doesn't want us to fail but she didn't help by ending it with me.
She also said she doesn't just want to talk about what's going on in her head but about other things like her daughters etc.we have been broken up for about 2 weeks now.I haven't tried to get her back because I feel like I didn't do anything wrong.but by doing nothing can also show that I never cared. She also said I should have left it alone when she needed to think and I said I saw you hurt and when you hurt I hurt.I was just trying to be there for you.I don't know what to do...

[sweet1028]

Sometimes in a relationship, it is best for the one you love to come to you first when they are in a troublesome situation. It's best to let her know that you are there for her when she needs you but not push her into talking to you about things.

I think she does love you, and she does want to be with you but she just felt too pressured with everything that was going on at the time. Considering she was shocked when you moved out, she more than likely felt bad for saying and doing things when she was upset and now you are leaving her to face things on her own.

Let her know that you do still love her and care for her. That you want to make things works just as well as she does and if she needs you, you will be there for her but you will not make her talk to you if she is not ready to. I wish you the best. Please let us know how things works out for the both of you. I wish you the best of luck!

[XxarkangelxX]

Thank you so much for that advice but should I text her or call her or just wait for her to call.I don't want to look desperate or needy.I feel that I handled it pretty well but still hurts.what hurts is not knowing when she will be ready to get back together.

[talaniman]

She may never be ready, and sorry to say, it's a big red flag, when your fiancé doesn't want to talk to you about her issues, and would rather break up. That's not how couples grow together, that's how they grow apart.

No telling what her real feelings are, or what her next move will be.

[XxarkangelxX]

So why is she telling me all of this stuff why not go straight to the punch? That's some deep stuff you said and I agree.That is the reason why we endend up in this situation no communication. Is she messing with me what are her intentions?

[talaniman]

No communications=No relationship.

Talaniman Rule-Never try to read the mind of a female, nor assume or presume what her feelings, motives, or intentions, are about.

Even if she told you, I doubt that you would understand. Now her actions are pretty clear. She wants space from you, and the romance.

[sweet1028]

Communication is key in every relationship. Without it you might as well drop it all together and move on. I think it's different in this situation for some reason though. I think you should text her don't call her because hearing her voice may make you more vulnerable and make you say things you wouldn't say if you texted.

Tell her that you understand her reasoning, and that you are willing to give her space if that is what she wants for right now. Also tell her that if she really wants it to be over then that is her choice; but you are going to keep your distance when it comes to family situations you will be there if/when she wants to talk but you will not put more pressure on her to talk to you about it than the pressure she is already feeling from what is already going on. See what happens. Good luck!

[liz28]

Tal is right. I think your being very reasonable by still paying the bills and by letting her keep everything after she dump you--must men don't. Then she have the nerves to complaint to her friend about you not being there--what?

Hello, she broke off everything and refuses to talk to you about it and got the nerves to be shock that you moved out--can you say passive aggressive. Then she can't be woman enough to talk directly to you but instead she gets her friend to do so--again what?

I think your being taken for a ride and you need to stop being so nice about things and protect yourself. Time for her to pay the ful amount of rent or move to a place she can afford. If situation was reverse she would have no problem kicking you out.

You tried to reason with her and tried to find out what is going on but instead she pushed away and called the wedding off. Does you expect you to just understand and stand by her side? I think not!

Your partner above anything should be your best friend. The two of you should be able to overcome anything together because you work as a team. There is no "I" in team. You tried everything to make it last but in the end it takes two.

[XxarkangelxX]

Stop being so nice about things how? I'm so lost don't know how? Your right about everything. I couldn't care less about the material stuff.what should my next move be?

[talaniman]

Back off, and get better perspective of your situation. Deal with the reality not the just the feelings.

You may have to seriously re-evaluate this relationship and move in an entirely different direction.

[XxarkangelxX]

Hey guys just want to keep you guys updated so far I'm doing a lot better I have been keeping myself busy and no contact with her. She is the one calling or textin me.It's been almost a week so I had time to think about the negatives and the stuff that went wrong in the relationship from both sides. My ex fiancée has been doing all the leg work what I mean she is the one calling me , bringing me food to work,showing she stills wants something I guess?
We talked to today I felt good and confident about myself.I was curious to hear what she had to say and this is all the stuff she brought up.She said all the good things you want to hear like I love you,miss you,I want you but she didn't say anything about getting back together I am fine with that.She also said why am I ignoring her... the way I'm acting is showing her that I don't care about her anymore.She also asked me what have I been doing these past weeks I didn't see a problem answering so I said going out having fun.she asked me if I met a girl and if I slept with her I was thrown off when she asked me I paused.I told her no I haven't then she said I was lying I said no I am not.
She did mentioned that if I find someone else while she's in the confused stage to move on go for it I was like I know and she got upset and hanged up with me.

Guys what do you think is up with her?

She then texts me that she misses everything about me and that she feels this is one sided thing that she is the only showing effort for us. I don't think I should I am not the one that ended it.what do you guys think?

She also wants to still be intimate with each other... any advice guys?