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    betty1234's Avatar
    betty1234 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jul 4, 2009, 02:47 AM
    I don't trust him
    I am 23 years of age. I had many affairs in my past life and I have suffered a lot due to it. Recently I am going around with a guy. I like him a lot but he wants to me get close to him. But the problem is I am scared. I really don't know what should I do?
    I like him and don't want to lose him. I am scared that he will lose me after his needs are over. Please help me and tell me what I should do?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    Jul 4, 2009, 04:05 AM

    Don't rush into anything. Yes it happens a lot girls have sex with a guy before they KNOW there is a solid relationship then they get dumped or the guy starts cheating or doing other things that make the relationship deteriorate.
    So don't rush into anything.

    Also you need to learn to sort out
    Is the problem me?
    Is the problem him?

    When you can rationally recognize your insecurities from his red flags things will go a lot smoother.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #3

    Jul 4, 2009, 12:44 PM

    Have fun getting to know him very well, before you get all attached either physically through sex, or emotionally. Don't make him your world, and keep your life balanced with other things you enjoy, and that make you happy, besides him.

    Then you will be paying attention to him, and can see the things you need to know about his character, morals, and motivations, and won't fall for any BS, just to keep him around, because your afraid of being alone.

    That means just date, and keep your own heart safe, until he has proved beyond a doubt, he is trustworthy, and reliable, to be a good partner.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #4

    Jul 4, 2009, 03:22 PM

    Tell him that you want to take it slow. If he cares about you, he will respect your wishes.

    Otherwise, if he can't even follow something so simple, there's no point to go on.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #5

    Jul 4, 2009, 09:22 PM
    Have a good think about where your trust issues come from. You are finding it hard to trust him, because essentially you don't trust yourself.

    Perhaps you haven't really forgiven yourself for things that you've done in the past. This may warrant some reflection on your part, and a process of forgiveness.

    Develop trust and respect for yourself and this will flow into the relationships that you have with others.

    Take it slowly. Treat yourself and him with respect. Never take love for granted.
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