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Wendyrite12 · May 19, 2009, 03:01 PM

Well I am on my 3rd day of NC with the ex and 10th day of no smoking! I decided to do it all together and just be disciplined all around. I have a question about NC though. I wrote my ex a "nice as possible" let's be friends and stop all this madness email. I didn't say anything about going NC, just thought I would do it. I read that your suppose to say this from the get go that you'll be needing space and will contact when you are ready. Can I leave it the way I did it? He actaully responded to my breakup email with a nice but rambling reply about how great I am and how messed up he is and I deserve more but that I'm "sexy and cool" (his words not mine ;)). I didn't reply. I was just going to leave it unless he writes again and then I would say "you know,I think I just need some space. I will contact you when it's right for me" kind of thing. Is that OK or do I need to write him telling him I need space? That seems like an oxymoron and feeling like I should leave it. Also, after day for the smoking thing got easier so I'm hoping it's the same here!

I wish · May 19, 2009, 03:43 PM

It's fair, 1 email each. That's it. If you reply again, then he'll want to reply again... and then it will just go in a cycle and you will never really start your no contact. So leave it at that and continue with your progress.

If you have any other no contact questions, refer to this thread: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html

Until you are both ready to talk again, continue on the no contact.

Wendyrite12 · May 19, 2009, 07:10 PM

Thank you, that's helpful, the whole 1 email,1 email. I'm always confused as to how you both know your ready to talk again, but I guess I'll wait 30 days and find out!

I wish · May 19, 2009, 07:48 PM

Well don't put a specific time. These things cannot be rushed.

You'll know when to talk again, when you stop analysing every single detail and feeling more objective.