[Triysle]

Well, I saw that there was a list of things to do, so I thought I would put together a list of things that you should NOT do after a break up. Feel free to add/criticize!

1 - Do NOT contact them. Full details here.

2 - Do NOT talk to all your friends and family about it all the time. It's ok to have a short discussion to talk about how you are feeling, but do not go on long drawn out conversations or you might wear them out.

3 - Do NOT check their facebook/myspace page, or anything else that might have some kind of information about them at all. You will recover much faster if you are not reminding yourself of the other person all the time.

4 - Do NOT mope around and try figure out what went wrong. It's ok to sit back and reflect on yourself, but do not start thinking that you could have changed the outcome somehow. This is your situation now; thinking about what might have been is a waste of time.

5 - Do NOT hold on to reasons to get in touch with the person (I'm guilty of this one!). If you have something of theirs, or more than a few things, gather everything up and send them a brief message to come get their things. Do NOT try to discuss the relationship with them at this point! Just give them their things, be polite but to the point, and get on with your life.

6 - Do NOT leave any reminders of the person in your every day life. Pictures, jewelry, clothing, or any other gifts that the person might have given you will keep them in your head, so box the stuff up and store it somewhere until you are strong enough to see the objects without it hurting you.

7 - Do NOT let your pain guide your actions. All of us have been wounded, and many of us have made some bad choices as a result. Slandering your ex, talking like they'll never find someone like you again, or other insulting comments might make you feel good in the short-term, but ultimately you will end up feeling worse and you will end up looking even worse to everyone around you. Also, do not hurt yourself, emotionally or physically, over this. No matter how amazing they were, they are not worth hurting yourself!

8 - Do NOT, and I really mean this, try to control the situation in any way. You cannot control how the other person feels, you cannot control their actions, and you cannot control the break up (unless you are the one doing it). The only things you can control are your feelings and your actions. Take the time to sort yourself out and don't stress over things that might have been.

9 - Do NOT jump into another relationship until you figure out your own emotions. It's not fair to the new person, or to yourself. Make sure you know exactly what you want for yourself rather than expecting someone else to know how to make you happy!

I could go into specific things, but I think this about covers the general topics. What do you folks think?

~ Tee

[homie_fry23]

Do NOT try to find someone new right away. You have better chances when you're not on the rebound. :]

[Survivor07]

These are very good ideas.

I might add that you may not have chosen to break up, but you can choose how bad and ugly the breakup will be.

[Lonelyandbroken]

Don Not make excuses for them.. (They are making their own choices. They are doing what they want and you can't control it.)

[Silverfoxkit]

Very good list Tee.

I'm just going to ad this because a 15 year old girl in my town recently did this...

DO NOT commit suicide or attempt suicide over a break up. Life WILL go on. No man/woman is worth taking your life over.