[Bubble00020]

Hey, just wondering if anyone could give me a hand. I think I over reacted the other night when I was out in town with my friends.

Long story short, my friends and I had been in town at a night out when my boyfriend who had been at his mates drinking phoned me to tell me they were coming to meet us. (My mate "J" is also going out with my boyfriends mate "S"). So we arranged to meet up with them. When they got in my friends and I all wanted to got to Club A but my boyfriend and just him, not even his friends wanted to go to club B. He kicked up such a fuss and said that if we didn't go there he'd go home. We eventually said yes just to calm him down. When we got in to club B it turned out he wanted to go there because his mates from work were there, which was fine. But then the story unfolds that "K" a girl that fancies him (but although she's prettier than me he would never go out with her cause she would be a "b***h" but he would sleep with her). Was there. His ex was also there. The only person apart from me that he's ever loved. I was slighty annoyed at this as from where I was standing it looked like he just wanted to go and see them. Anyway he spent the whole night with his other friends not bothering about the mates that he had came with or me. And when "S" told him off for leaving us he went in such a mood and accused me of not trusting him. I do trust him but when you see him all over these other girls, holding there hands cuddling them etc... I have no problem with him having girl mates, I mean I have loads of guy mates but if he seen me acting the way he was he would go mad! At the end of the night he went off and left me. I tried phoning him but it didn't work. Eventually when I was about to give up and go home he finds me. We had an argument on the street about it but all he tells me is that he would never hurt me and wants to marry me one day. I don't know what to think. I know he would never hurt me but his flirtings out of control. Should I have gotten jealous?

The next day we went swimming and all he could do was stare at all the other girls in there bikinis. When pulled up about it he said "whats the point in being subtle?".

Am I just blowing it out of proportion, should I be jealous? He's always text flirting with these other girls and phoning them. He does encourage them even though they know about me. We've been going out for almost 10months now. And been childhood friends. We were seeing each other a yr ago and he "cheated" on me then. I don't know what to do. Am I over reacting?

Thanks for any help

[spitvenom]

I don't know to many people who would have acted any different then the way you reacted. If I was cuddling with my ex and some girl who likes me at work my wife would KILL ME!! That is not being jealous that is being pissed because you BF is cuddling with other girls. I know I don't know him but he sounds like a real @$$hole. And he "cheated" on you once already. If I were you I would dump his sorry @$$

[mudweiser]

I have a feeling that this guy somehow manipulated you into thinking that your being over the top.

I definitely agree with spitvenom: you need to dump him.

He's a liar, a cheater, he has no respect for your relationship, and frankly you deserve better than that. Don't be his doormat.

Sarah

[kctiger]

After you dump his a$$ tell him to stay classy...

Carry on... :cool:

[shazamataz]

If a girl touches my boy or hugs him you should see the look of fear on his face... he knows he is going to get an earfull from me.

He has slept with one of our mutual friends before (one off - before we started dating) and she is one of those people that just runs up and hugs everyone... my partner didn't like it anyway so I confronted her about it and she was fine, we are better friends now that I know I can trust her.
My point is, have you talked to your boyfriend and have you tried talking to his ex and his work mate?

[mudweiser]

If a girl touches my boy or hugs him you should see the look of fear on his face.... he knows he is going to get an earfull from me.

I don't really see that as a good thing. There is nothing right about being scared of your significant other, male or female.

He has no respect for their relationship so I believe a conversation will just be a waste of time.

Sarah

[I wish]

I don't think there's overreacting or underreacting. You were reacting the way you felt at that moment. At least it was an honest reaction.

Other people might have held their feelings inside, but still felt the same way you felt.

You just need to confront your boyfriend and tell him that it bothers you when he flirts with other girls in that way. -If you want to save the relationship.

But he sounds like a player to me. He doesn't respect you the way a boyfriend should. I say -Dump him.

[Bubble00020]

I've tried talking to him before and he has stopped talking about all these girls to some extent. I forgot to say he did try and get me to meet them but I didn't want to. Its bad enough I seen their naked pics on his phone. Don't worry I made sure he got rid of them.

I know he doesn't see his ex anymore but K still works with him and sees him like everyday. She used to leave flirty messages on his bebo but now she texts him instead...

I love him and don't want to break up with him. I don't think he would hurt me as he always tells me how bad it made him feel when I caught him out with another girl last year even though we weren't officially going out. But do I have a choice?

[mudweiser]

I've tried talking to him before and he has stopped talking about all these girls to some extent. I forgot to say he did try and get me to meet them but I didn't want to. Its bad enough I seen their naked pics on his phone. Don't worry I made sure he got rid of them.

What did he say to that? Did he apologize, was it nonchalant? I'm sure he has other things he is hiding from you.

I know he doesn't see his ex anymore but K still works with him and sees him like everyday. She used to leave flirty messages on his bebo but now she texts him instead...

Like that's any better. Texts can be deleted. This guy is really playing you.

I love him and don't want to break up with him. I don't think he would hurt me as he always tells me how bad it made him feel when I caught him out with another girl last year even though we weren't officially going out. But do I have a choice?

Sweetie, love is different. He doesn't show any signs of remorse. He's sorry all right.. that he got caught.

You do have a choice. To leave him. You'll be fighting tooth and nail and chances are he won't change.

Re-read everything on this thread. If you were someone else what would you say? Be realistic and honest.

I know it's scary to break up with someone, after a long time. They become a part of you and even if they beat you down [verbally, emotionally or physcially] you want to stay. I know so. I believe you can do it- trust me you feel a whole lot better once the relationship is buried and dead.

I'm here for support and I'm sure so many others are too,
Sarah

[Justwantfair]

he said "whats the point in being subtle?".

The point in being subtle is a matter of respect and your boyfriend doesn't see that.

When you are with someone your actions should display the same thing as a matter of respect to your partner/your love.

What he did was completely disrespect you and your friends. He didn't treat you as a girlfriend the entire night. I am trying to understand why he met up with you to take you with him on his escapade. Surprisingly, since you were out separately, it would have been just as easy for him to meet up with these two without picking you up first. Why did he know they were there? Which was apparently his attempt by throwing a hissy fit to get everyone to the bar he wanted to be at.

[Bubble00020]

Hes my first love which makes it that bit harder. I understand what yous are all saying and I thank yous for it.

I tried to break up with him a couple of weeks ago because I couldn't take it anymore. It was a lot of things like always arguing over stupid things etc.

He stopped me, told me things would change and when I told him I meant it, he got upset.

I told him it was his last chance. He has stopped most of the things but what am I meant to say, stop seeing your girl mates, stop texting them and phoning them, your making me jealous? I don't want to tell him what to do or to tell him to stop seeing his friends. I couldn't do that.

Is there not an easier way I could get through to him?

[mudweiser]

I'm sorry sweetie but I believe there isn't. You tried talking to him, yet he got upset. He says he wants to change only to keep you as his doormat.

Sarah

[Justwantfair]

Nope there isn't an easier way to get through to him and when you see the flags (they are there) then it is time to do the right thing for yourself.

Imagine watching two fools out in the street fighting, what would you think of their relationship? If you are a partner that creates that sort of partnership with you, then it is definitely the wrong partner.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-331280.html,

You both have to many issues to be together so why do you accept this kind of treatment? Sorry, that's not love, caring, loyalty, or respect!

So what are you doing still there? Afraid to be alone or what?

[liz28]

He flirts and flirts and doesn't care if your around or not.

You don't like his flirting ways and think things are going change?

Quit while your ahead and find someone on the same page as you.

What's the use of arguing constantly about the same thing with the outcome each time? Move forward!

[Kennym1986]

You need to dump his worthless @$$ because he's nothing but trash and if you keep going with this your going to get really badly hurt I've seen it happen a million times, a lot of those times happened to me directly. And she always made me feel like I was the one doing wrong, don't let him do that to you don't make the same mistakes that I have made multiple times