[masterchief1752]

Hi everyone... I realize that this is a tough question that not everyone can answer with certainty besides me. I am just wondering why, when I am a freshman in college, do I want a relationship rather than going out and partying. I bring home a different girl every weekend... I have a few I talk to all the time, I am not a player but I just know how to have fun and girls like that. I have been that way forever but for some reason I want a relationship. I just got out of one and you would think that I would just want to be single, free for a while but I don't. My ex girlfriend just started talking to me again hinting heavily she wants to try us again and I find myself having feelings for her all over again. I won't do anything about it as she is in a relationship already and I am not going to ruin it for her or the other guy, but I find myself wanting to be with her. Like I said I know that no one can answer this with incredibly accuracy except myself, I am just wondering if anyone has gone through a similar situation and what they did. If anyone has gone through the single person's dream but wanting to get out of it for some reason. I can't think of one.. I have been looking forward to college and doing what I want for a long time and now that I'm here... I want to be able to like someone and have them like me back instead of being used for one night or vice versa. Any help is appreciated like I said any advice is great I'm not really expecting a whole lot considering the complexity and personal level this question is but any help is appreciated.

[Mrs2b]

Could it be, what you are after is a rebound relationship?

Why did you 2 break up in the first place?

[talaniman]

... I want to be able to like someone and have them like me back instead of being used for one night or vice versa.

You have answered your own question, but you must realize your still fresh from your break up and have to heal.

You'll never replace what you had and weekend sex may be okay for a good time at the moment, but obviously your not ready to take the time, and just date for fun yet, or else that's what you would be doing. Probably your choice in quick easy partners has something to do with that also.

I highly suggest you leave the ex alone, as talking to her will keep all those old feelings for her stirred up, and make the healing process that much harder, and more confusing.

It takes time my friend, one night stands are the easy way out, and only a temporary fix, not a solution to the problem, being able to cope with your loss thru healing, and moving on.

[slapshot_oi]

It doesn't sound to me like your hung up on your ex or anything. It just sounds like your bored.

It's a maturity thing. Knockin' down broad after broad for a while gets old, and then you want a steady chick. Then, you're in a relationship for a year, it gets old and you want to get back on the scene. Learning to deal with and actually like what you have is the key.

I had a girlfriend in college, got bored, we broke up, I slept around, got bored, went back into a few relationships that failed, then back to the single life... and so on. I just dealt with it because I had no other choice and whatever came my way--most of 'em were frat-rats but there were a couple gems--I took. I stopped giving a damn and focused on things I want to do that don't involve any kind of relationship with a woman.

My advice to you is don't let it get to you (easier said than done, I know; been there myself). Don't waste your nights worrying about some broad or feelin' blue 'cause your lonely when you should be studying for an exam or going to a rush event for a Fraternity your interested in. And also, a relationship in college is a bad idea, it's just too much to juggle.

Consider yourself lucky, you're gaining a lot of experience while you're young.

[masterchief1752]

Eh it was complicated how we broke up. It was when I was a senior in high school... right at the beginning when we were already together for 6 months, and I wanted to I guess enjoy my senior year but didn't want to lose something as good as her... I guess I went half way because her best friend is a flirt and liked me forever and I gave in and flirted back and she didn't like that.. I don't blame her. We only fought because of her friend etc... but we broke up and she recently, like I said, started talking to me and wished her friend would have gotten out of our life and that we could have worked out because she knows without her friend there we could have gotten really far. Mind you I took the blame 100% I know its my fault I said that and she said its all right. But she has been dating this dude for almost a year... and she's telling me she wished we would have worked out, wishes her friend got out of our life, thinks about me from time to time and what would have happened and every now and then wishes it would have been better. To me that is hinting in a way that she still has feelings but isn't ready to give up her boyfriend now so I am backing off... being there or messages online as I am 2 hours away and not forcing anything. If they break up and something happens... fine if not... ill get over it I am not in love with her anymore.

I just think that her coming back is messing with my head because she was my first "love" and I have always had feelings for her... even when I was immature enough to realize it was my fault we broke up. Even when I was in a few relationships since her I always had feelings with her... sometimes wishing that it was her I was with instead of someone else. I don't know she started talking to me, she started saying all those things not me so that to me says something. But like I said I'm not going to make anything happen or destroy their relationship but ill sit by and wait... if it happens like I siad cool if not.. o well