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    FA123 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Dec 12, 2008, 01:10 PM
    How do I get past the guilt from the relationship ending
    I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 10 months. Although it doesn't seem that long we were very close and had plans for the future.

    I have trouble dealing with trust and this caused arguments and also much unhappiness in times for me and him. I worry a lot in relationships about small details and sometimes think my boyfriends are hiding things from me. It seemed to happen very quickly and intensley with this relationship. He never did anything that should make me feel that suspicous.

    We were happy when we were in each others company and we always said how much we loved each other. We had had a few big arguments in the last month or so and finally split mainly with him saying he has not been happy for a while. I suppose I didn't realise he was this unhappy as we had always been so affectionate and close. Im pretty shocked by this and I'm struggling to accept this as think we can be happy if I got help for my issues.

    I have text him a few times trying not to ask too much and also spoke a couple of times explaining how I would get help and then things would be better. I really thought he would say he was missing me and we can work it out but I don't here from him unless I contact first. And then when I do he is very distant or says he doesn't see it getting any better. He did say eventually that he is missing me but is confused.

    I feel like I need to talk to him and explain things but heard its best to leave it totally until he contacts me. I just don't know if I have said enough. If he did love me enough would he not contact me eventually? Do I need to tell him again that this was not because I didn't trust him but because I have an issue with trust whoever I'm with? I feel so guilty about it being all my fault but have recognised where I need to sort myself out. Just wanted to do that with him. Im trying to move on but don't know how right now. I have a lot going on in my head, I can't stop thinking about it.

    I feel a sense of urgency to sort this out in case he finds someone else.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 12, 2008, 02:02 PM

    Work on your own issues, and see how you feel after you have worked on yourself.

    What good does it do to bring more misery, and pain, back to someone, when you have a chance to deal with your issues, and grow from it?

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