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babz888 · Dec 8, 2008, 05:22 PM

OK guys, here's the thing.. I recently posted a comment on a guy and advice on what to do were I was being rongly accused of sleeping with another guy.. so this is sort of a carry on from that..

After reading the comments that people left telling me that I should forget about the long distance relationship and maybe just be friends and see were we go from there.. well I did this and of corse after a cuple of weeks I felt I cudn't do it anymore because it would hurt me to know that he was with other girls.. I told him over the fone that I think he should delete my number and stop all contact with me because I didn't want to get hurt any more.. he asked me if I was being serious because his feelings towards me were really strong and he was scared to tell me in case I thought of him as a 'weirdo'.. I don't.. I love him! So anyway we started a relationship and we have decided that it would be better if I made the commitment to move over with him, we've talked about getting a place together, getting married and having children! Everything was brilliant! Id never been happier in my life if I'm honest! I've never felt this way about anyone before!

Ill cut to the chase now.. I got a fone call about 3 hours ago and its still sinking in... obviously with us being in a relationship for a while we have been sexually active.. I completely trusted him with everything!
So this fone call.. what he said was basically whenever the rumour was going around that I had slept with another guy he basically got drunk and slept with another girl, he says he was hurt by what I done to him (even though I actually didn't do anything) and that she was basically handing it to him on a plate.. so I thought OK... maybe it was just something that he had to get of his chest.. but then he said 'i just need to tell you that I have been to the doctors and was tested for Chlamydia, it came back positive and obviously with me having sex with you unprotected you probably have it too! '
I am devastated! I don't no what to do! I've got a clinic apt tomoro to get checked up on but I don't know weather or not I can trust him.. I'm glad he had the guts to tell me! I love him and honestly duno what to do..? Help?

I got this message via email there now
Hey baby, I'm really sorry 4 what I had 2tel you an I feel really bad... if I'm honest then I'm actually quite scared that your going 2 walk away from me, if you do then I kind of understand bt I really hope you don't!! It happened before me an you an it was a mistake bt I had 2tel you because I didn't want u 2fink that I cheated on u... I would neva eva do that! Your the 1 girl for me, the only 1 that makes me smile when I hear your name!! I love you so much baby... when you get this can you text me or sumit?
Im missing you like crazy an I do propa love you every minute of every day!
XXx
I'm stuck! I duno what to do or think? Help?

N0help4u · Dec 8, 2008, 07:17 PM

Sometimes people do make one time mistakes.
It is hard to have a long distant relationship. If you think he seriously loves you and you say you are willing to move to his town how would moving there but not with him be? I wouldn't move in with him until I was really really sure that it was going to work.

ashey23ole · Dec 8, 2008, 07:46 PM

I have kind of been in this situation minus the std part... a guy having sex with a girl because he heard rumors about you is already a RED FLAG and jaw dropper, but the chlamydia... ouchhh... I would walk away at this point...

I do think he loves you, but if you get back with him, he will learn that if he cheats, or contracts diseases he still has the power to get you back...

I do believe in second chances, however I do think most men do not change...

By the way, how old are you?

N0help4u · Dec 8, 2008, 07:51 PM

Yeah exactly I forgot to mention that when guys do things like I did this because you did that it is a red flag. I was taking into consideration that it is long distance and he might have given up hope. Sometimes things like that can be a one time mistake though. If he has patterns of using what you do as an excuse for him not acting right and other red flags I wouldn't trust him. Definitely do not move in with him before you know that you can trust he is good for you.

talaniman · Dec 8, 2008, 08:35 PM

It's a big red flag that he would react to a rumor without talking to you first, and then cheating, and an STD??

By my count that's already three strikes.

Why don't you wait to get YOUR test results.

4 strikes?? I certainly hope not, and whether your negative for an STD, then don't take any more chances with someone that has already struck out.