[5374528966]

Okay... I have never asked anyone for help with this stupid situation I have got myself STUCK in. Well I have been with this guy for five years. After the third year the loving, happy, and fun man I was with wasn't so loving, happy or fun anymore. He went through a bad injury at work and was left for eighteen months without help or support from anyone, but me. Being as young as I am, and as in love with him as I was, I stood by him through all the . After he was better, (his back) He didn't go back to the way he used to be, He was still cranky and had a hair pin trigger temper. I tried so hard to explain to him that I needed him to change, but he didn't see that anything was wrong. I went out hunting one day, with a group, and of course my boyfriend(having no interest) did not care to come. On this hunting trip... I met someone my age(my boyfriend is seven years older than me) someone like me. I really liked him. He is a hunter, mechanic, sweet, (always tells me I'm beautiful) fire fighter, hockey player, cowboy, Calf roper(taught me a few things) horse trainer, hockey coach, devoted farmer, and loves hound dogs.. like me :) after hunting I found out that he only lived fifteen minutes from where my boyfriend and I live. So for all the help he gave me when we were hunting I told him that I would by him a drink when we got back to town. We met up(my boyfriend came) so I could introduce them. He still refused to change for me, still was mad at the world, and hated everyone. I started to fall for this guy I met hunting. Started spending a lot of time together(not being completely truthful my boyfriend at home) but we were so much alike... in every way. So eventually I left my boyfriend, although he did change(they day I packed my stuff) to me it seemed to late. And I had someone else on my mind. Well my ex bagged me to love him and always asked to be friends if that was all he could have. But in being friends with him, it stopped me from allowing myself to fall for this other guy. I was already falling in love, but I couldn't fully love him. My ex's words were always in my head. So now I am back, not allowed to speak to the man I met hunting, trying to rebuild what has been burned. What do I do. I love my boyfriend of five years, but I miss the guy I met hunting more everyday. Please some advice may help.:confused:

[wolfgangqpublic]

I believe that your old relationship had reached its logical conclusion and should have ended when it did. It seems to me that it was the right conclusion to make - it was not a snap judgment, and a decision you reached over time. I also get the impression that there was no cheating involved, so although their was emotional cheating perhaps, you never actually betrayed him. There was no reason you couldn't have stayed friends with your ex, but you needed time and no/very limited contact for some time before that point was reached. But you went back. Now you're in a relationship you don't want to be in, that's clear. I only hope you haven't ruined any chance of things with the other guy.

[5374528966]

There was no cheating... that's for sure. I know its wrong, but (secretly) I have stayed in limited contact with the other guy we talk maybe once every couple weeks or so. With the guy I'm with now, it was really hard when I left to not be friends with him, cause he called me every day and was constantly crying and telling me how wrong he was but I did try. It was just so hard. It is still really hard. Another problem I have is that he has a six year old daughter, and I have been around her since she was six months old. I am her best friend. It was really hard for me to not be around her as well. Now all of my friends say that I am settling for this guy, because we bought a house together, when I left him, I left him the house and everything that was in it. Once out of the house I have been in for the last four years, I had no security, stability or anything. I felt like I was seventeen again. How do you get passed that, or the feeling of guilt?

[talaniman]

Time gets you through most things, and I hope since you did go back to this guy, for whatever reason, cut all contact with your hunter friend.

It may be hard, but in time you may no longer be distracted, and can focus on rebuilding.

Cutting contact will also help eliminate the guilt of going behind your mans back also.

Give it your best effort, or leave.

[5374528966]

That's what I have been trying to do... it seems really hard. But him and I, we have been working on things. I told him yesterday that I was still talking to my hunting friend, he was mad, but its just one step to getting through it. I hope anyway. :confused: I think it will be hard for me to cut all contact with my hunting friend. I talked to him today, and he was asking me how to act (he met some cute girl) when he was around her. I gave him a little advice, and I told him I hoped he had a wonderful night, and wished him luck :D so that I think is one more step in the right direction. Maybe?