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    katierose211's Avatar
    katierose211 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 19, 2008, 02:19 PM
    Wants me to change.
    I have been with my boyfriend over 7 years now and we have a one year old son together. We are not married but we do live together. I recently got caught up talking to another man, it was not a sexual relationship but still wrong and decietful. Now he wants me to stop talking to our mutual friends who knew about this man and did not tell him. Most of my friends were his friends first and became very close to me over time. He says that he can't be the fool... and they his this from him and he can't accept that...

    Now in the beginning of our relationship we each did each other wrong, every time I fessed up and he denied... he continued to cheat years in and I constantly forgave him.

    Now I don't want to tell my friend I can't talk to them anymore but I he says I can leave him forever if I don't. I want to keep my family together and keep my friend...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 20, 2008, 08:58 AM
    I want to keep my family together and keep my friend...
    That's not going to happen so make a choice what's important to you.

    Honestly, he sound jealous, controlling, and insecure and you both sound capable of being dishonest with each other.

    Is this relationship as dysfunctional, and unhealthy as you make it sound? If so, changes are in order by you both.
    moura's Avatar
    moura Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Nov 20, 2008, 11:51 AM

    If there is no trust in a relationship there is NO relationship.
    Mmm you have both been unfaithful to each other in the past.. so a question you shuld ask yourself (BOTH of u) Is why are we together? If I was in your position I would ask myself if he is worth forgetting your friends.. I mean he already has cheated on you what makes you think he isn't going to do it again.. or leave you for someone else and then what.. what are you going to do? U will have no one to help you through those times. "men come and go.. friend will always be there". Maybe you shuld speak to him and explain to him that your friends maybe didn't say anythign because they were in an uncomfortable situation and did not want to get involved and wouldve done the same if it was for him. At the end of the day if he is makign you choose between him and your friends.. it is down to you to decide who you think will always be by your side!!
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #4

    Nov 20, 2008, 12:03 PM

    Seems to me that this relationship never really got off to a good start, due to both of you not being completely committed to each other. It is pretty difficult, when you didn't have a solid foundation to begin with, to keep a long and healthy relationship going.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Nov 20, 2008, 12:09 PM

    moura: I like that... if there is no trust in a relationship, there is NO relationship!

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