[DBR1982]

My girlfriend and I split about a month ago. We dated for about 4 and a half years. We were both unhappy for about the last year and a half. I've taken this time to analyze what the problems were and have found that I pretty much wasn't heading in any direction, which caused us to grow apart. I was forced to move back in with the parents because I couldn't find a decent job and we were apart for most of the time and only saw each other on the weekends. Now that I have a good job and have moved back to the same town she lives in, I want to give it another chance. She doesn't want to because we'll just go back to having the same problems. I disagree, because I think we have enough invested in this relationship that we owe it to each other to try and figure out what the problems were and try and how we can fix it. We're meeting sometime this week. How should I go about asking her if she wants to give it another go?

[talaniman]

If she doesn't want to try again, there is nothing you can do, but move on.

Since your meeting soon, best see how she feels first, before you write that "get back together" speech.

[DBR1982]

Well, we've already met once after the breakup and after I told her I want to get back together, she said "I can't do that right now". That was before I analyzed what went wrong, and I now have a good understanding of what went wrong. I think we can decide together what the problems were and how we can fix them, or should I just let it go?

[talaniman]

I would let it go, simply because she doesn't sound as if her mind is going to change, despite your seeing the light.

Its really up to her.