[greywolfblu21]

I am a single mother and have been since the day I found out I was pregnant. I have never been married and have been in and out of relationships because I knew they weren't right. I haven't been in a relationship at all for the past 3 years because my child has been in the spot light and I haven't been looking.
Out of the blue, I got an email from on online dating service that I used to use from someone who wanted to connect. He liked my profile and he made me laugh, so I logged on to check things out. Come to find out we connected like I have never connected with anyone before. When we talked online and on the phone it was like I was being reunited with an old friend and were catching up. It was the most exhilirating experience. We made plans to meet and neither of us was nervous about the meeting. The night went great. :) The next day I knew something was bothering him, but I don't think he wanted to tell me. I forced him to tell me and in the end I messed up.
To make the story short (and unembarrassing for me) I ended up in ICU that night and have not heard from him again...
I would do anything to tell him thank you for saving my life. If I could go back and change the way things happened I would, but I can't. I can only move forward.
I feel like I lost my best friend again (my dad passed away a few years ago). I am not sure what to do, if there is anything to do.
I think maybe wait and see, if it was meant to be it will be, but what do I do in the mean time?

[jmw0713]

I don't want to pry, but did you do something to yourself to to end up in the ICU?

[greywolfblu21]

Yes, I did... It was not intentional.. I have no reason to hurt myself, then or now. I am getting professional help because I know that a break down consists of stress being held in.

[jmw0713]

I think you may have scared him off.

I would continue seeking the professional help and wait for things to balance out more for you.

If he calls... talk to him and explain the situation. If he understands and comes back... great. If not, he was not a good fit for you.

Just keep working on yourself and take care of yourself and your child.

[greywolfblu21]

I sent him a letter in the mail telling him how much I appreciated what he did for me.. he called the ambulance. It was one the hardest letters I have ever had to write, but in the end it just said thanks and instead of 3 pages like I wanted to it ended up being like 1 paragraph.

[jmw0713]

When did all of this happen?

[greywolfblu21]

Only recently.. I mailed the letter on Tuesday... I know I need to wait, I am just driving myself nuts with everything right now. Trust me I am not proud of what I have done, more ashamed and disappointed than anything.

[jmw0713]

Yes, you do need to wait. In the mean time just find something to keep yourself busy. I wouldn't wait too long though. There are a lot of other guys out there to date. Don't put all your hopes on only one.

[greywolfblu21]

I just know that I have never met anyone like him before. Even though I took myself out of the dating circle for so long, I have met many men... I just can't explain, how my heart is breaking. My example of feeling like my father died all over again is the only way I can explain it. But I do see what you are saying, and I will try my best.

[Kitten78]

What did he say was bothering him?

[greywolfblu21]

That I was a great person, but right now could only be friends... boy does this all sound really stupid right now.

[talaniman]

We all have to deal with our losses in life, and be able to move beyond them. I think you're a bit lonely, and need some friends, or activities to give you something to do, that you enjoy.

How old are you, and do you work??

[liz28]

I think that right now you should work on yourself and know that you will meet someone when the time is right and when you least expect it.

Do you have any friends to lean on that you can hang around and go out and have fun with?

At this time you need to do things that you enjoy doing or finf something new to do. I found that exercising is good for me and a good way to relieve stress. Also, I make clothes in my spree time and go out and have fun and I still find time to have fun even though I am pregnant.

What are some of the things that you enjoy?

[greywolfblu21]

Taliniman, I am old enough to know better and yes I do work. I am lonely. I own my own home and I realize now that other than what I have lost and the friends that I thought I had, I have everything I need right here at home.
liz28, after my experience, I have realized that the friends I thought I had were not truly my friends as none of them came forward to show me any support. These are "friends" that I have had for 13 some years. I am okay with the consequences moving forward and once again, I will start my life over with a new perspective. I have a long way to go, but if he is truly my soul mate, he will come back into my life unexpectedly. Until then, I will just keep doing what I have always done.
Thanks everyone.

[liz28]

Yeah, I can understand what you said about friends because I had a friend for 25 years and our friendship ended because she stoled money from my bank accounts and that was very shocking.

Maybe you can go to this website and join a group and at the same time meet new people and form friendships with. I joined a group over a year ago and it is fun. I actually came across thios site after surfing the net and I am glad I found it. Me and my group gets together once a week and we go places and sometimes we plan things to do wuth our kids. My group is called Parents that want to have fun and that is what we do. You can check it out at Use the Internet to get off the Internet! - Meetup.com and you can click on your city and see what groups are available or start your own.