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lady_rose · Oct 28, 2008, 09:29 AM

OK let me start in the beginning, he has chatted with other women in the pass, talk to them on the phone, so he has lost my trust. For 5 years now I can not trust him, but I want too. He told me over the weekend either get over my jealousy and trust him or he is gone. OK last week he meet a lady friend and they have been talking on the phone every day. This drives me crazy, he says she is just a friend and there are NO romance going on. SO I want to trust and I know that it is tearing us apart.

So HOW do I trust again to someone that lost my trust?

Lady_rose

Romefalls19 · Oct 28, 2008, 09:32 AM

I don't see how chatting with other women is a problem? I would have been gone long ago if my fiancée told me to stop talking to all my female friends. If nothing is going on, then what's the whole deal? I can understand if he cheated on you before, then distrust should be there but to tell him he can't talk to any females, that's childish. There are billions of people in the world, some men and some female. Do you talk to no guys at all? Or do you have a few guy friends?

ZoeMarie · Oct 28, 2008, 09:35 AM

Why does he have all these lady friends? I wouldn't trust him either. Have you guys gone to counseling at all? Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to get the point across to your boyfriend. Maybe he needs a second opinion that talking to other girls all the time when you're in a relationship isn't a good idea.

A few questions though, have you met any of these girls? How does he know them? Maybe if he would include you when he talks to them or introduce you to them you would feel more comfortable

Romefalls19 · Oct 28, 2008, 09:36 AM

Someone explain how it's not okay for a guy to have friends that are female! When we get in a relationship are we supposed to just cut off conversations with the opposite sex or something?

ZoeMarie · Oct 28, 2008, 09:40 AM

I wasn't saying that at all Romefalls. My husband has friends that are girls and he talks to them online, once in a while on the phone, but I know who they are and they talk to me too. She made it sound like she doesn't know these girls and they talk all the time. Maybe I'm assuming too much but that's just what I got from the first post. I can just see where she's coming from because I dated a guy that talked to girls all the time, every day, I had no idea who they were, he wouldn't tell me and then I found out he was cheating on me.

Romefalls19 · Oct 28, 2008, 09:42 AM

That's a different story lol. But if they have been friends, then it shouldn't be an issue. I would understand her P.O.V if she specified that he just met these girls. I made a point to introduce my S.O to all my friends, male and female. She is actually going wedding dress shopping this week with one of the female friends.

I think she should talk to him about this and asked to be introduced to his friends, may put her mind at ease a bit.

ZoeMarie · Oct 28, 2008, 09:49 AM

I totally agree that if they have been friends it shouldn't be an issue. The fact that she said last week he met a lady friend, I thought she was saying that was the first time he met her. That was how I figured that he was just meeting new people and talking to them. I guess we'll have to wait till she gets back on to give us more details.

lady_rose · Oct 28, 2008, 09:54 AM

OK no I haven't meet them, most of them he has meet on the web, he tells me he meet this one at a truck stop, but she lives in the same town we do. Yes he went to visit his first wife a few years ago, he said nothing happen. So I just want to learn to trust him
Again. He is always sneaky and has a password on his lap top, and yes I do have male friends but we don't talk on the phone for 4 hours at a time. I feel like I am second to his friends.

lady_rose · Oct 28, 2008, 09:59 AM

More, he says she has a boyfriend, so I ask why not all 4 of us go out to dinner, hasn't happened yet. When I am talking to him , he says someone is calling and he will call me back, but when I call and he is talking to her, he doesn't answer. Am I making too much out of this? I need help I cried all last night. At 1 am I got a pic of our dog, weird why would he send me a pic of our dog at 1 am?? He is a truck driver also. So only home once in awhile.

talaniman · Oct 28, 2008, 10:01 AM

Its not what you do, as how you do it.

I believe he does things in a very in your face, disrespectful way, and that feeds insecurity, and mistrust.

This is more an issue of abuse, and control, on his part from what I have read, and getting rid of a loser like that, is the best option.