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    rgk's Avatar
    rgk Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 21, 2008, 11:17 AM
    Feeling Better
    She broke it off. After 2 weeks we went out to validate the past 2 years and understand what happened. She then said she felt like she was right back in her marriage and the dating excitement was gone. I told her not to feel bad and that I understand if she is feeling trapped or confined that she needed to push back. Also I said if you need to see other people or make space for yourself, that is what you should do. As I said this, it started to make me feel better. The fact that I was not whining and crying about my loss, empowered me. I was able to make her feel comfortable around me again. I spent the evening trying to make her feel better, and it made both of us feel better. The key was that I was sincere.
    We had the most wonderful evening, no kissing or groping, just wonderful conversation and flirting with my friend.

    I am going to respect her space and if she misses me, she will call. And if she doesn't... then it would not have worked anyway.

    Bottom line is I woke on Sunday morning with self respect. If you want to feel better, get some.

    RGK
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 21, 2008, 02:05 PM

    What an amazing and encouraging point of view. I'm standing in my office giving you a standing ovation. Well done.

    Now, when the doubts and fretting try to crop up later, remember the applause.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Oct 21, 2008, 07:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rgk View Post
    The fact that I was not whining and crying about my loss, empowered me.

    This so true. I have to admit I'm guilty of whining sometimes in those situations, but it's the focus on the positive that will get you to move forward. Focusing on the loss only makes it go on longer.

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