[143u]

Hi all,
I was here long time ago and them back again. I am here to get some helpful tips and comments on my story. I hope this will really help me. So here goes my story.
I have recently been absolutely No Contact with my boyfriend of 2 years and 9 months. It would be 3 yrs this November if we were still together (how sad). Well, he officially called it a break 3 months ago on chat thingee. His reason was he wanted to be free and not bond in a relationship. I begged him not to do that and could let him have his space and not bother a lot. I love him like nothing else in this world. Thats for sure. But later after some times we started talking again and hook up for a while. I asked him what's going on and he was like "I got so much to do.. I am just stress over school and work stuffs" Even then I was the one to go to his place everyday just to see him. He wouldn't care if I come or go. He never calls me or text me or anything. I am the one going his way all the time.
So finally I set my mind that I would not call/text or anything with him until he calls me back. Its been a month and there is no single contact. So basically this is a breakup. Because he already make it clear that he didn't want me anymore.
Since then I am devastated. I think of him all the f***ing time. He rules all over my heart and mind. There is nothing else I can think beside him. (All that typical love story). Well, we have been through so many breakups. There were always ups and downs. But I stick to it. I was the one to say sorry all the time even though it was his mistake. I was there by his side in every steps he took. I helped him through his school and his hard times. I helped him through his applying process at another university. I basically did most of his work for him. Well, I am not trying to say that I did everything for him and stuff but that's the fact and I have to admit to it even thou I don't want to. I am not the type of person who wants credit for things I do. I mean I wanted to do it because I was his girl friend and I loved doing things for him. I don't say he used me because I guess he loved me as well. I hope you understand.
He is moving to another city in a week because he transfer there for his university and he doesn't even call me to say thank you for everything. Or at least to say good bye. He is such a ego person. I mean he never calls or say sorry unless you say first. Some people are like that but that's fine. At least just one call to say good bye won't hurt. But I bet he won't (never saw a person like him). He even promised to take me on a dinner because he knows I have done so much for him. Wow! Never thought it would end this way. He don't even care if I am alive. This really hurts me like hell. I am trying to tell myself to get over him but it just won't. I have really good frens who advise me sometimes and I am really thankful to them. But I just thought you guys will be able to understand me more and help out. I will manage to keep this as my journal and write my feelings.
I know deep in my heart that he is not the right person for me because he doesn't have those qualities that I want in a partner. But no matter what I still love him to death. O yea.. I got to tell you something else as well. In the beginning when we started going out I behaved like whatever and he cared a lot about me. I mean he used to say he loves me a lot and stuff. Its not like I cheated on him or didn't love him. I wasn't this possessive like now. But I have changed and I tried to tell this to him like thousand times and he believed. He knows no matter what he does I will still stick to him. I know I need to get over him because if I don't I will suffer. But deep down my heart I still want him back. Please Help!

[talaniman]

It takes time to accept its over, and cope with the emotional fall out of a break up. For now read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, and take the suggestions, and insights they provide.

[JBeaucaire]

It's not HIM you miss, you don't actually miss someone who only is "sort of/mildly interested" in you. No, it's not HIM you miss.

Remember, this guy IS pretty much a selfish boor, you're missing how he briefly made you feel (with false words, possibly) and the image in your mind of who you WISH he was. You don't actually miss HIM... you can't, he's not worthy at all.

You miss how made you feel early on in the relationship. THAT's what you miss. Keep that in mind.

Reading through your post (a bit of a rant, good for you) it's clear your mind knows how to deal with this and your heart is being a big fat baby about it. All understandable. But your mind/common sense NEEDS to win this particular battle.

[brokenhearted1515]

What you are going through is normal, and almost everyone of us has been through what you are going through right now. And we are all still here, some at different stages then others. I know you think that its impossible but you will get through this and need to have some faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You have to accept the fact that its over and that he is not coming back. It will take a lot longer than a month to get to that stage. There's no special answer or special pill you can take unfortunately. You just have to keep on living your life, and KNOW that the way your feeling will get better. I am one for no patience so I found the getting over stage very hard because I just wanted it to be over, and it seemed to be lasting a life time. But I am almost there. And can't believe how good I feel. I feel stronger than ever before, and as sad as it is to say, I am glad that this has happened to me. I have learned so many lessons. Just have faith in yourself.

What helped me was takeing a weekend, and doing nothing, going through all the pictures and emails, and anything that reminded me of us. Getting to the lowest point I have ever been in my life ever. Crying, yelling, feeling sorry for myself. Then at the end of the weekend, I erased everything possible that reminded me of him. Took him off my msn, Facebook and all his friends too. I deleted all his emails, and packed everything else into a box and put it into my garage. One day I plan on having a bon-fire :) Then on the Sunday night I said to myself, I am done, I am no longer going to be sad, I won't feel like this anymore, I refuse to, mostly because I knew he wasn't sad, so why should I be. Then what I did was everything and anything possible to take my mind off it. Just stay busy, make your days go by as fast as you can. Not contacting him for me was so easy, I would get the "craving" and I would say OK I am going to go do my laundry and if I still want to talk to him after that I will call, normally after I was done doing whatever, I was glad I had not caved. But if I did still wanted to call him after, I would do something else. Eventually it would bed time, and I would think, one more day gone, one more to go. The HARD part for me was not answering him when he contacted me. He knew how to get me every time. He knew my buttons and would press them constantly. I would ignore his calls, he would call private at 3am or 6am, and catch me while I was sleeping, he'd call me at work, then show up at my work when I wouldn't answer. All he wanted was to make sure I wasn't happy. When he would find out that I am happy he would do anything and say anything to make me want to be with him again, he would hook me, I would cave and he would continue to be a total a**. So now when he comes around I tell him I am horrible and that I miss him, and he disappears for a while. You have to find what works for you. Every person is different and acts and re-acts differently. You know yourself and him the best. But what you don't know now is your worth! Know your worth! Hope some of this has helped. Best of luck and keep posting!

[143u]

Thanks guys for your responses. I feel little better in a sense that I know I worth more than this. Yesterday I was preety happy and didn't think of him 24/7. I dreamed of him though. He is leaving in 3 days from now and I just wish he calls me but I know he won't. I can't let my heart understand that. I keep thinking why people are so selfish and mean. I am a kind of person who feels happy when people are happy but why can't other be same as me. Well because everyone is different. Lol. I have the answers to most of my questions but just can't operate them properly.
So, my friends planned to go to Vegas on our 21st birthday. Its coming in 2 weeks. I am excited and I even asked my mom's permission. This would let me not think of him for a while I guess (which is good). Gosh! Breaking up is so much harder. Because you have seen this person everyday for 2 and half years and then suddenly they disappear. So probably this situation is hard to cope with. Not seeing him everyday ever again. And I wish I do not have to see him ever again. Because I just can't handel my emotions. I am very weak type of girl. My friends keep telling me be strong because life is long and such. Maybe because I am libra. One of my friend had a breakup with her boyfriend and she is fine. She doesn't even care about him anymore. I mean it hasn't been a long but how could she be done this early. I wish I could be like her. But you know what.. deep in my heart I still want him back. I mean I so wish he could change which is IMPOSSIBLE. Gosh! I know everything but just can't control my heart.
I think its going to take me lot of time to realized that HE IS GONE FOREVER.. :(