[supitsdav1d]

Hi everyone, I just signed up for this forum today because I thought it would be a good place to get advice, and reflect on the issue I'm currently facing. Recently my girlfriend informed me that she wanted a break from our relationship because she felt that she was too dependent and too consumed with me and our relationship. I do agree with this, as she was very dependent, and relied on me for practically everything. Although at first it was supposed to be just a "break" we are now officially broken up. At first I did not know how to react or handle the situation, and up until last night I thought I was OK to just be her friend like she wants right now. After our first conversation last night, I told her that I would rather be her friend than nothing at all. Later that night I realized that was not possible right now, and called her to tell her that we should not talk, nor see each other until we're ready, or when I am ready. This now leaves me with questions on what to do next. Currently we share a cellphone bill together, I am also paying for her gym membership every month. How should I go about bringing these things up? We talked briefly about the cellphone bill, but nothing was said other than we'll take things 1 step at a time. In this situation I am preparing for the worst, and the possibility of us never being together again. What should be done now? Thanks in advance.

[HeadsHigh]

Cancel both the cellphone contract and gym membership, you don't need to speak to her about that really do you? Your only option is to give her what she wants, cut all contact RIGHT NOW the sooner you put the silent treatment into practice the sooner you'll be able to see things for what they are.

[happy_jester]

In this situation I am preparing for the worst, and the possibility of us never being together again.

... Yes,that's exactly what it means when a relationship breaks up.

For sure,before the break-up is final,there will be various "details" that you both
Will need to look at [and you mention some of these i.e. her gym membership]

Talk to her while these "details" get sorted out,but be QUICK!!

Afterwards,remember,NO CONTACT!!

[supitsdav1d]

Being that I have already told her that I do not want any contact with her, how should I go about bringing up these things? Should I wait some time before trying to contact her regarding this? Maybe a week, 2 weeks, or more? Or should I do it right away? I also don't want to come across as a d*** about it, so what is the best way to bring it up?

[jjwoodhull]

You do not need to discuss it with her. She broke up with you - does she really expect you to continue paying her bills?? Cancel the cell phone and the gym membership immediately.

[talaniman]

Stay no contact and cancel everything in your name, and disappear.

[411Help]

She said she wants to be less dependent?

Cancel them.

How could she possibly get upset? Isn't that what she asked for, EXACTLY?

[hungtoronto]

My girlfriend broke up with me two months ago as well. She was a dependent as well. I used to pay for her cellphone. I canceled it cost me $400 to end the contract. It's a matter of principal. Stop being her safety net. It was a tough decision and she'll get upset but it's for your own good.

She doesn't want anything to do with you so it's only fair.

[tonyzaman]

I had girlfriend for 3 years as well we broke up 4 weeks ago and now we are just good friends as we used to be... its better for you to talk to her for now as a friend till you feel better because its very hart to brake up and stop talking to someone that you loved as girlfriend and best friend..

[amicon]

This post is from 2008.