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danni07 · Aug 20, 2008, 02:13 AM

[F]Hi, i need some advice!

I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now. Im 21 and he is 23. I love him but yet still he still does not love me, he says he just cares for me! He says its not his fault its just the way he feels and that he does not know if he will ever have the same feelings for me. There is just no romance in our relationship at all and if there is, I have to ask him to do something romantic.

He is constantly saying that if things don't change soon, he's going to call it a day! It hurts knowing that we don't share the same feelings! Apart from a few arguments, this is the only thing that is affecting our relationship.

Do you think I should just walk before it gets to this point?

I don't know if to hang on or move on and give him his own space? Its hard walking away from something you love. :confused:

i would appreciate any advice! thanks
Xxx

Mr-Blank · Aug 20, 2008, 02:50 AM

"If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was..." - Anon (I think?? )

You know what you have to do, you've already said it. It's time to go: danni07.

danni07 · Aug 20, 2008, 03:16 AM

Thanks, I think your quote is very true and helpful x

liz28 · Aug 20, 2008, 08:14 AM

It's oblivious he don't feel the same about you and if he don't after 2 years, why stay any longer? Move on because it seems he might. You can't change the way he feels and you shouldn't put your all into someone that's not doing the same for you.

ANB428 · Aug 20, 2008, 08:17 AM

I would leave him. I just left my boyfriend for the same reasons. It is killing me right now. It has been two weeks, but there are many other fish out in the sea and you deserve someone better than that! I would leave him and move on and like Mr-Blank said, if you love something let it go and if it comes back then that is how you know that it was meant to be. Good luck with everything.

ISneezeFunny · Aug 20, 2008, 08:40 AM

Danni... is this the same guy that "hasn't loved you" since November?

... if so, you got to do one of two things.

Put up or shut up.. . I'm not trying to be mean, but you've gotten SO many responses, mostly very good advice, from lots of people, but it seems that you haven't taken anyone's advice. Asking a new question in hopes that someone will say, "He'll eventually love you" isn't going to work. Do something about it.

JBeaucaire · Aug 20, 2008, 08:52 AM

He's right. It's not his fault he doesn't feel about you the way you feel about him. Admit it... it's not YOUR fault you love him, either!

People so easily ignore the fact that the love reflex is involuntary. It's nothing you're DOING, it just happens. It also "doesn't" happen, too.

There is truly no point being mad at someone because they don't share your feelings. You can no more guilt someone into loving you than you can guilt the sky into raining. It rains when it's time to rain. And when it's time to rain, no amount of guilt could stop it!

You're not going to tell me you've never had to fend off the attentions of a guy who liked/loved you that you weren't interested in that way at all? You know you have. This situation is almost the same, in this case you've dated, but the result is the same.

You two breaking up now should not be viewed as a failure. It's not. Failure is staying in a relationship with someone you shouldn't. THAT's failure. That's not happening. You two are succeeding here.

talaniman · Aug 20, 2008, 11:25 AM

How honest does the guy have to be? You have enough facts, to make a very reasonable decision for yourself, make it, and stand by it.

danni07 · Aug 23, 2008, 04:53 AM

Thanks 4 all the 'positive' responses! 'Is sneeze funny' I no your trying to help but as a counselor I know that giving people negative advice, doesn't help. There's a difference between BEING truthful and being dam right out of order. Every one else Thank you very much, but I think from now on ill share my problems with my friends. But thank you very much still.

JessiccaBabesx · Aug 23, 2008, 05:04 AM

There's plenty more fish in the sea who can love you for who you are, so I think you should call it a day with him :)
He may realise he does love you once you've gone and realise what he's missing but if not it wasn't to be, and move on.
Show him what he's missing :)
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