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Sammie66 · Aug 5, 2008, 05:44 PM

Whatever you do, don't contact them. It pushes them away and makes you feel bad at the same time. I've just given up on her now. Close that door and look for another one I guess.

HopeDiesLast · Aug 5, 2008, 06:31 PM

He was spotted on what seemed like a double date. He's probably over me. He was spotted at a bar he's never set foot in. he was probably meeting her there. Who is this person? Where did my boyfriend go?
I think it's a sign of me giving up. Reality is finally setting in.

bigdee · Aug 5, 2008, 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by HopeDiesLast

2 months post break up, 25 days no contact, still anxious.
This sucks.
He may never come back/realize what he had.
He has made no effort to contact me.
Hes probably over it.
I'm not and i want to be for my own sanity.
Time sucks.
I wish i could see into the future.
The anxiety is killing me.
People change all the time, right?
I'm afraid to let myself find someone new.
I miss him.
I want to be connected to him again.
I'm just angry/sad/tired/thinking.

HopeDiesLast... your post is so close to how Im feeling too. You are not alone. It's been 3 months for me... though I have had intermittent contact with my ex-GF due to some issues with joint accounts and such that I have only recently begun to decide to cancel. But I have (finally) realized that she may never come back and I have come to grips with it. It has made me very very sad but what can you do. I still miss her dearly and wish we could be together like we were. Stay strong. I am trying to be...

kcook · Aug 5, 2008, 09:26 PM

I feel exactly as you do. I had a really BAD day. But it will get better, we have to believe.

Sorry you feel this bad too!!

busterite · Aug 6, 2008, 02:49 AM

Don't try to figure out what your boyfriend is doing. It doesn't matter and you shouldn't care! Believe me because in my case I know she has already jumped into what seems to be a serious relationship with the guy she cheated on me with, after our 3 year relationship (She was my first real love and we both come from the same circle of friends back home which means I will always have to stumble over her, which sucks). So believe me when I say that its best you don't know! Its really important you keep the NC going on! Unfortunately your feelings won't change overnight and it will take a lot of effort but you are definitely on the right track.

HopeDiesLast · Aug 6, 2008, 04:28 AM

Yeah the more I know about the ex the angrier I get that he's just done with me. The more I start to wonder "well, is he REALLY done with me?" The truth of the matter is actions speak louder than words. And if he wanted to try, wanted to contact me, wanted to get back together... he knows how to do it. He just doesn't.
It's hard to look at a situation and see it for what it really was. Because no one wants to admit they were wrong. Or that the person who broke your heart saw the writing on the wall first. It's a big blow to your ego.
I guess now there's nothing else to do but let go.

busterite · Aug 6, 2008, 05:42 AM

I agree that it is really hard to see the situation for what it really is and admit that you were wrong and that is what I am struggling with too. But it will only make you stronger for future challenges in your life. Although you might not believe it you are already in the process of letting go, its just that it takes time. Just have faith in yourself and your ability to get over this and it will all be fine.

HopeDiesLast · Aug 6, 2008, 06:03 AM

I hate him. I really do. I hate him for letting me trust that this was going to work. And then when it came down to it- he couldn't do it. It makes me so angry.

Sammie66 · Aug 6, 2008, 11:49 AM

It hurts so much doesn't it. I'm so unhappy right now.

SAB123 · Aug 6, 2008, 01:41 PM

When my ex fiancé broke up with me I remember the 2-3 months in was so bad, then 3-6 months in was getting a lot better, 6- 12 months the hurt and the pain you have in your heart went away 15 + months on the only time I think of her is when I want too. Just take the advise you get here it works. And I didn't believe it when they told me but it does get better.

HopeDiesLast · Aug 6, 2008, 06:33 PM

I wish I knew that my situation was going one way or another. At this point its going the way I wish it wasn't :(

busterite · Aug 7, 2008, 03:29 AM

You are going in the right direction and the proof is that you are still maintaining NC. Its your mind playing tricks on you. Don't let yourself believe that you were being played all along your relationship, and don't let hate take over. It is really easy to hate someone but the hardest is to forgive them. It takes a much stronger person to forgive. I know it feels almost impossible and extremely painful but that is what I try and convince myself to do everymorning I wake up. It has been 1.5 months since we broke up and it's the 3rd week of NC. I am still struggling to come to terms with the fact that she is sharing all the things we were sharing 2 months ago with someone else, and although it is not as bad as the first week where I couldn't sleep or eat anything I still get some really bad days, where I feel completely lost and wandering whether I have made any progress and when I will finally be able to move on without having to think about it. Your signature says that things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, so just believe in that and hold on in there.

HopeDiesLast · Aug 7, 2008, 07:09 AM

He's said he wasn't feeling it anymore
He'd seeing someone casually.
He hasn't called.
I haven't called or text in 27 days.
So why the hell do I have this hope that he's testing the waters and will come back?
Someone please tell me how to let the hope go because I'm going nuts.
This is a lot like my other posts but I need a slap in the face... please.

Romefalls19 · Aug 7, 2008, 07:19 AM

*SLAP* You need to just realize he isn't coming back, it's over. He is moving on, as should you be. Healing is a time consuming process. You are doing well with No contact, eventually it will start to shed some light to you that this is for the best and there is better out there

talaniman · Aug 7, 2008, 07:33 AM

Get busy learning to love yourself, and quite whining over someone who doesn't care, how dumb is that??

Well you asked!

HopeDiesLast · Aug 7, 2008, 08:16 AM

Thanks... keep it coming.

bigdee · Aug 7, 2008, 08:24 AM

I hear you... do I ever hear you. I've been doing the same thing... hoping that my ex comes back to me. So much so that I refused to cut all ties with her to my detriment. Recently I have been getting a clue that she doesn't really care all I have been doing and boy do I feel stupid. I have finally decided to cut all ties (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-242077-2.html) but it took 3 months for me to finally do it. All I can say is that it takes time and I wish I did it earlier. Stay strong.

JBeaucaire · Aug 7, 2008, 10:36 AM

Actually my slap is to remind you that IF he comes back, remember what you're getting back. You aren't getting a guy who "tested the waters and then came back to you". That's rosy-thinking and it's not accurate.

What you're getting back is a guy who looked at you and thought "eh, she's not it for me, think I'll go find someone better"... and then he DIDN'T find someone better. That's good that he didn't, but HE STILL WANTED TO.

Don't miss that. You'd be getting back a guy who would really prefer to be with someone else, but may be willing to settle for you. That sound attractive to you as a life choice?

Romefalls19 · Aug 7, 2008, 10:38 AM

JB, you forgot one thing... Or he did find someone better, but she didn't want his sorry @$$ and then he came crawling back

HopeDiesLast · Aug 7, 2008, 12:08 PM

Well that would be when he'd have to do some SERIOUS proving of his craving for me! I wouldn't let him come back so easily after this Sh*t he's put me through. And maybe by the time it gets through his thick head... the tables will have turned. Who knows?