[Hivona]

I fell in love with a man during 2006. There was lust but there was also love. He had everything I could ever have imagined in a man. He used to love me. The relationship was very complicated. We started seeing each other before we were divorced. He moved out & got divorced before I did. I took longer to myself in order. We did not divorce for each othe, but the marriages were over for their own reasons. Anyway, he felt there was too much he knew about me & my ex & he felt he needed to move on. He was very upset over it. Said he wanted me to be the one for him... Like I said he had it all. He was kind & gentlemanly. He's smart, funny, great sense of humor. We liked generally the same movies & music. For me he had it all, on an emotional level, physical level, intellectual level he was it. We both felt that if he & I had met when we were single & free there would have been no stopping us.

I lost him in early 07. He gave up on us, felt there was just too much drama & pain between us so he started dating. I was devastated. I turned into the typical girl & tried to get him to see how great we were together. Of course it pushed him away more. So since the summer of 07 I stopped reaching out for him. I let him contact me when he wanted but he has never come back. He stopped saying he loves me long ago in 07 because he no longer does. I hear from him 1-2 times a month but almost never see him. I still let him initiate. I know there is nothing for us anymore. But I have never really wanted to say no more contact ever. I have been close because it is painful for me to know that I am now just an aquaintence to him. However, I do still love him. I know deep in my heart I do. It doesn't consume me like it did because I know he isn't coming back. But I really do believe I will always love him. He really opened my eyes to what an amazing man can be. (I try not to compare my dates to him but its hard. And so far none of them have done it for me on an emotional, intellectual, & physical level. They have 1 or 2 but haven't found all 3 yet.) Moving on, he just told me yesterday that his girlfriend is pregnant. What a shot through my heart. I want to be happy for him but it just hurts me. You would think it would make me see that there is nooooooo chance in hell for him & I. But damn I still love him & it hurts. How can I get over him? I don't know what I lose if I tell him I can't talk to him anymore. Its not like we are close anymore, we never see each other. We don't talk much. I don't ask what his girl is like because it still hurts me to know I'm not the one with him.

Why can't I get past this guy? He said he ruined me on other men! Sometimes I think so, that I won't find a guy that pushes my buttons like he did. I get out, I have hobbies, I go out with friends, I have started dating, I have a job, I'm trying to go back to school. So I am not just sitting around moping about him. But I feel him still. Especially after this shocker. He is the man that finally made me realize that I do want children. I wanted his. We even talked about baby names! But no. Will I always carry this love for him? Will I someday be strong enough to do that & still know that its OK & there will be another man for me just as wonderful?

[N0help4u]

People are not all that easy to get over. Each person has a place in our heart along with memories. Even in bad relationships they are often still their in our heart and mind. So no
I don't think you will exactly ever get over him. But you know what you had with him and hold that as your goal in things you want to find in somebody.

[talaniman]

Yes you will eventually get far enough along, to be able to share with someone else, just a matter of time.

[chuff]

Exercise. I mean push yourself to the absolute edge and your brain will be forced to start thinking about other things. During my recent break up I'd get on the elipitical machine and just go for an hour. One Saturday I was so determined to think of something besides her I went for two hours, and assure you that my weekend was spent recovering... but not thinking about her. If you don't have a gym membership start walking or ride a bike or just get moving in some way and when you think you've had enough... keep going. My theory is if my brain is going to focus on the bad, I'll give it something worse to think about that benefits me and exercise does just that.