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    miller3's Avatar
    miller3 Posts: 80, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Jun 19, 2008, 05:45 AM
    1 month today!
    So.. for all that do not kow my situation please see below for all that do it has been 1 month since nc with my ex. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...html.........i honestly feel worse and think about her more, but I have no urge to contact her because I feel that it will just make her angry. My issue is she has some of my stuff still. She is aware of this and I told her to hold on to them until I am ready to get them. My question is when should I contact her to get them? I want to go pick my stuff up but I want time to pass so I feel better when I see her so I will not cry and beg her to take me back or to talk to me again. My goal is 2 months with no contact from her. No doubt I am still hurting and so is she so she claimed a month ago. The thing is she has options to send my things back in the mail like she has in the past but she has not done that so far. She is well aware of my things and that I want them back. How should I aproach her when I am ready to get them back? I would like to see her to get them back as a adult but not sure how to word this to her. Any suggestions on how to write a e-mail asking to get my things back??
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
    		  
    #2

    Jun 19, 2008, 07:14 AM
    "Dear Sandy, I've put a box on your front porch for my things. I hate to impose, but I do need to get them back now. Would you put my stuff in the box and I'll pick them up Friday morning. Thanks. -Miller"
    cant breathe's Avatar
    cant breathe Posts: 39, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Jun 19, 2008, 10:25 AM
    Are the things she has of yours really important to you? If not let her keep them and leave it at that. Sometimes I think we convince ourselves that we must get our things back but is it really just a way to be in contact with them again?
    miller3's Avatar
    miller3 Posts: 80, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Jun 19, 2008, 10:47 AM
    Well, we talked about this and I said I would contact her when I can come up to get my stuff and I also said she can mail it to me if she wanted. So she has options but she never mailed it to me and its been a month. I do in a way want to see her but if I chose to then I want to be in a different state of mind. I mean I feel we really never said our goodbye's to each other so it would be good, but when I am feeling better. I want the dust to settle.
    cant breathe's Avatar
    cant breathe Posts: 39, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Jun 19, 2008, 10:54 AM
    It's your choice but just be careful you are doing it for the right reasons. You have obviously came a long way in the last month and it would be a shame for you to put yourself in a position where you could be knocked back to square one emotionally by seeing her. Possessions are only material and not as important as protecting your feelings and your heart. :)
    miller3's Avatar
    miller3 Posts: 80, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #6

    Jun 19, 2008, 11:05 AM
    You are so right. I think what I am going to do is give her options to give it to me or mail it or what ever to see what she descides to do. I will leave it up to her.
    cant breathe's Avatar
    cant breathe Posts: 39, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #7

    Jun 19, 2008, 11:29 AM
    Wise choice... just look after you right now :)
    miller3's Avatar
    miller3 Posts: 80, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #8

    Jun 19, 2008, 12:39 PM
    Thank you
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #9

    Jun 19, 2008, 01:11 PM
    If you don't need them right now, then wait until you can handle it better and continue to heal.
    confused1145's Avatar
    confused1145 Posts: 176, Reputation: 17
    Junior Member
    		  
    #10

    Jun 19, 2008, 01:27 PM
    One option is to get a mutual friend or a friend of yours to try and retrieve the items if she would give them out. If you do not feel strong enough right now then don't face her. You don't want to get hurt again or have to face more pain.
    miller3's Avatar
    miller3 Posts: 80, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #11

    Jun 19, 2008, 01:37 PM
    Thank you for all your help all of you.
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