[otis low]

I'm a young man in a relationship with a girl that's has a baby that I treat like mine her baby father nowhere around and so I stepped up to the plate and took on the responsibilities me and my girlfriend has an pretty strong relationship we've know each other for years and just started dating recently I love her with all my heart and she loves me but the problem is that she likes to go out with her friends all the time and it makes me so nervous because she also likes to drink she always tell me to trust her she doesn't want anyone else. I'm asking should I believe her and just trust her or should I be worried from this

[Fr_Chuck]

What are they doing when they go out,

[otis low]

They are getting drunk going to the club

[talaniman]

they are getting drunk going to the club

she always tell me to trust her she doesn't want anyone else I'm asking should I believe her and just trust her or should I be worried from this

No mention of her getting drunk, and I hate assuming but willing to bet its her behavior, and your fear of being around other guys, that has you insecure.

Do you go out with your friends? Why or why not??

[jrsg]

I think trust is very important in a relationship. Not to say that you should blindly trust your girlfriend, I've made that mistake before.

Has she shown any flirtatious behaviour towards other guys before? Does she have any history of cheating on other guys? Basically, is there any reason for you to worry?

I am assuming she is going out with single friends?

[JBeaucaire]

You trust until you're given a reason not to, a specific reason. Not your fears, insecurities, jealousies or judgements. A real reason.

She SHOULD be going out with friends. As a mother, remind her that her daughter could NEED her mother instantly at any time, so the drinking should be kept to a minimum, but not necessarily completely eliminated. She's a mother. She needs to remember that at all time.

Tell her that, then tell her to have a great time... and mean it.

[Chery]

My question is if you've been friends for such a long time, and you know her past habits - have they changed any since she became a mother?

I have a feeling that you going 'up to the plate' in this 'game' is just what she wants. Someone else to take responsibility that she is not ready and/or willing to take yet. You need to talk to her and see if she intends to be a good mother or continue her 'party life' for as long as possible.

How about suggesting that she only goes out once a week and see if she can take up her own responsibilities when you go out once a week on another day - so that she will have to be there for her child.

I'm a mother and grandmother, and when one is a mother - being the party animal will have to go to the back burner... PERIOD. I don't believe in anything else because children are more important - whether they were planned or not - they are there - and it's time to regroup and take over the responsibilities or give the child up to someone who will care for it more.

In my opinion - she can't have both.

[waystogetexback]

A relationship is based on trust, so it is best to trust her, but I would suggest that you let her know your true feelings and ask her to compromise by going out less with her girlfriends and not so much. If she does that then that is a notification to you that she is willing to work with you and so you would have to give her the benefit of the doubt because that would be a big step for her.

[NotMyName]

Are you worried that she gets so drunk she could get hurt or that your worried she will sleep around?

[Chery]

Only ANSWER the question on this page here. Do NOT ASK a question.

You are NOT logged in.

Honey, I've been 'logged in' for a lot longer than you have (three years) and I can read between the lines.

You want a quick fix to a situation that you already know how it's going to turn out. I asked legitimate questions that you also have asked yourself and don't really like the answers and feel helpless and powerless to confront her with because if you 'rock the boat' she'll probably find some other dude to take your place.

So, I'll stay out of this thread, your life, and you can go on being the fool and appreciate her 'attention' until the next guy comes around or the next baby gets born from someone else.

You need to find a partner who will appreciate you for who you are and not what you do for her so that she can have a good time.

[Chery]

Are you worried that she gets so drunk she could get hurt or that your worried she will sleep around?

Wow, you are risking being told off by the Original Poster - he does not like questions... but I think you asked a good one and hope he gives it a thought.

Thumbs up to you.