[tolerance]

Hi! I am 27 and found out I was 6 weeks pregnant yesterday by my boyfriend of almost 3 years. People ask me why I didn't know, but I really don't keep up with my period because its irregular and I have a stressfull job and thought it was the cause of my miss period.

I told my boyfriend and he's happy and this will both be our 2nd child. I have a daughter and have custody of my goddaughter. He was married previously and divorce in 1999 and have 13yr old son.

His family is mix about the pregnancy and I black and he's white, and some of his relative don't like it, mostly the older ones.

I am finding out through my boyfriend that his exwife don't like that I pregnant because she thinks it too much for there 13yr old son and mad he would have another child. Mind you we live in Calverton, li and she lives in NJ. She only allows him to see his child when convient for her. I don't interfere in there business but these are the facts and just want to give you a little insight and I have seen him cry over this and seen them interact with her, in person & phone.

He is 35 and share a private home with his parents, a mother & daughter/split house, we are getting a place by July:August, because I don't want to go where he lives because his whole family ar taking his exwife side and his mother,who used to be nice to me, is trying to make me get an abortion which I don't and she don't the plans we have made together but again thinks he is having a child too soon. I'm like what he's 13 but it's the exwife and she remarried so why does she care. I stay from them because I will tell them off and I don't want to be mean, anyone ever been in this situation or have some advice how to handle it?

Sorry it was long but if you have any questions please ask. Thanks for reading!

[liz28]

Don't let them make your blood boil for no reason because now your pregnant let them talk and the ex have a lot of nerves.

[simoneaugie]

Children, like the 13-year-old son accept and learn from new siblings. If you and your boyfriend are happy with the circumstance, don't worry about his family. Get into your new place and make a home with him and your precious, unborn baby.

[JBeaucaire]

To the Mother: "I only abort unwanted things. I want this baby, I don't want rude people...don't make me abort you, this is your grandchild we're talking about. Stop thinking of yourself."

To everyone else: "Get over yourself."

His ex - you know why he divorced her and have seen it yourself. Because of the kids he has to put up with her forever. Just love him through the pain she causes. She can't hurt you without your permission, so just look down at her and be above it all.

You two: Any reason you guys can't be all grown up and married and on your own without all this extra unneeded influence?

[tolerance]

We have discuss married, more than once and have different views. I feel if two people love each other then paper don't make any difference only a change name and for benefits then not. Its not that I don't love him but I seen most of my friends get married and a year later their divorce.

If it was up to him we'll go to the courts and get married, like yesterday.

It just mostly I started to see his family for what they really are, racist on the down. Last week we all went to the beach for an air show, his brothers and nephew went, daughter was playing with other kids and his brother going say "you better watch her or she go missing, then when the cops come your going said my black daughter is missing. So I say"if I report to the cops my daughter is missing won't they know she black because I'm black." I felt like punching him in the punch and he said that comment was not intended to be racist.

I thinking about telling his whole family off on the 4th of July.

[JBeaucaire]

Telling them off would feel wonderful, and probably cause more harm that good.

"The best revenge is to live well."
--George Herbert, a 17th century Welsh poet/priest

This is your best course. Laugh at them, out loud, when they're idiots. Laugh right at them, give them and hug, tweak their cheek and give them a 'bless your ignorant heart"...and live your life well. It will piss 'em off when they realize you and your man are absolutely unaffected by their "opinions"... and the best they ever get from attacking/undermining you is hysterical laughter.

Every now and then you two nudge each other and whisper loudly, "See, they're doing that thing again, yeah, I know, it's funny. Huh, what? Us? Oh, nothing...nevermind us...hehe."

[Fr_Chuck]

Tell them off, esp ex wife's, they don't like losing their control.

And being in a mixed marriage, you will get some of both race that will never accept, that is just nature of people. And to be sure your partner is also sticking up with you.

[tolerance]

He warned me about his family a long time ago and I'm starting to see how phony they're. His mother keeps email me about an abortion and I told her in the last email no and told her my due date, but I'm sick of her and want to tell her off but respect her because she's his mother.

Me and him is okay and he's also furious with his family behavior. His mother, like his exwife, feel its not fair to his son to have a child and wants me to kill it or give it for adoption, the nerves of her to even think that way. We both can afford it and nobody will never ask or bother her for anything and surprise how selfish her and the exwife is to be jealous of a baby. He takes care of his child and they using/blaming the child when its them, but this only makes us stronger.

[JBeaucaire]

Go online and sign your mother-in-law up for every anti-abortion newsletter and organization you can enter her email address into.

[talaniman]

Exclude all the BS people from your life, as you build a happy healthy home, for your child to be raised. They may come around and act civilized later, but for now, the less contact, the better.

Congrats and good luck!