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jezickca87 · May 27, 2008, 04:08 AM

My first b/f and dated in high school for two years, we had a terrible break up. Two years later I ended up dating (whom is my current boyfriend) a mutual friend of my ex and myself. My current relationship is awesome :) been together for 1 year. So this the situation, my b/f's friends are back from college for summer break and want to hang with him. Which is fine I want my b/f to have a social life outside of our relationship. So while my b/f was playing catch up with a specific friend of his, a group of his once mutual friends of my ex show up. Since my current b/f and I have been together he says he has not spoken w/ the friends of his past. There has been a lot of gossip over my relationship with my current b.f. when it was confirmed to my ex that I was in a new relationship he lashed out and broke into my current b/f's car and stole expensive audio equipment. (thats another story) since that incident I have not heard from my ex. That is until recently, the very next day my ex called, when he found out that his friends saw and hung out with my b.f. this was very upsetting. I've been a little upset with the whole situation b.c my b/f doesn't feel as though my ex is a threat and to ignore my ex. But I'm also upset with the fact that my b/f would hang around my ex's (tho once mutual friends) knowing that they are more-so my ex's friends than his own. I wonder am I overreacting?

Fr_Chuck · May 27, 2008, 05:07 AM

Your boyfriend is either free to hang with his friends or he is not.

If he is hanging with the person who broke into his car that is another issue, do you know it was him, or do you just think it was him

JBeaucaire · May 27, 2008, 05:43 AM

Having a grown up relationship means spotting when you're insecurities can unnecessarily complicate your good relationship. Your boyfriend gives you no reason to mistrust him, your ex is irrelevant. Leave it be.

Just don't protect your ex in any way, make sure your b/f knows what you know, as rationally described as possible, keep the drama down when you talk to him about it.

It's a pain, and you can tell your b/f that, too. But you can't safely demand he not talk to anyone without potential problems about controlling behaviors creeping up. I'd let it go and stay aware.

Maybe the ex will do something else illegal, you'll have the proof and can simply turn him in. Problem solved. Fingers crossed, eh?

jezickca87 · May 28, 2008, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

If he is hanging witht he person who broke into his car that is another issue, do you know it was him, or do you just think it was him

100% legally I know my ex broke into his car.. my b.f and I had a conversation in which he said "if there was someone u don't want me to hang with b/c u have good reason that i wont hang out with them." (and expects that same from me) alll his idea, never mine. This was stated before he hung out with the people of his past and before my ex called. I have high self esteem, I am not a jealous or controlling person, I'm very liberal with my b/f in terms that I don't need to know every detail about his life. But fear my ex, do to what he his capable of.

jezickca87 · May 28, 2008, 02:36 PM

100% legally I know my ex broke into his car.. my b.f and I had a conversation in which he said "if there was someone u don't want me to hang with b/c u have good reason that i wont hang out with them." this was stated before he hung out with the people of his past and before my ex called. I have high self esteem, I am not a jealous or controlling person, I'm very liberal with my b/f in terms that I don't need to know every detail about his life. But fear my ex, do to what he is capable of.

talaniman · May 28, 2008, 04:02 PM

I am confused as I thought your b/f was in Japan??
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...an-196766.html

jezickca87 · May 28, 2008, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I am confused as I thought your b/f was in Japan????
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...an-196766.html

I'm sorry I should have clarified my sisters b.f is in Japan.. I allowed her to use my account to post her issue.. my boyfriend is in the US with me and hers is in Japan.. but thank you for noticing and reading my posts I do appreciate it :) as well as any advice or opinions you have I'd like to hear :)

talaniman · May 28, 2008, 05:26 PM

If your ex makes trouble, call the cops!