[sugerbaby215]

Hi everyone! Just very recently my boyfriend and I decided to "take a break". About a year ago we moved in together, but on June 4th it would have been 3 years of us being together. For the last month it was very hard for me to see him, he made it seem like his friends and everything else in his life was more important than I was. The only time we would see each other was for about an hour in front of the TV in our bedroom and then while we were sleeping. The last week before everything happened I was always alone, and I hate that. I even cried to my mother one night because I knew he wouldn't be home that night and she had other plans and I didn't want to be alone. Things used to be so great with the two of us, he was my best friend. But within the last few months I feel like we just drifted very far away from each other. Its been over 2 weeks and I'm still heart broken. We talk every night, and I see him a few times a week, but I just don't know if that's the right thing, or if I'm just going to get my heart broken again. He said he loves me and that he could see us getting married in the future, but that he thinks he wants to take the summer and not be together. I don't know if I can do that, I have always been and still am in love with him.. im just sooo lost.. help!

[duck22]

Hey sugarbaby215, sorry to hear about your situation. Ive been in a similar situation before and I know how you feel. The best thing I think you should do is cut off all contact with him. Do not pick up his calls anymore or see him. Chances are that he was thinking about this a long time. Focus your energy on getting yourself back on track. It will be real tough at first because it takes a lot takes time and energy, but it does get better if you let it.

Also, I would not hold on to what he says too much. My ex from a 4+ year relationship said that she still loves me and sees herself marrying me when she decided she wanted a "break." Her break lasted less then a day before she was with another guy. I am not saying that's the case for your boyfriend, but remember that actions speak louder then words.

I recommend checking out some of the stickies on this forum, they can be really helpful. Best of luck.

[mattyamaha_27]

It gets easier when you stop talking to them, and don't see them. I am going through something similar. Someone out there will love you and not have to need a break. That is just what I have realized. It is so hard to really know its true when you feel all alone.

[WhatN3XT]

I am going through the same type of situation right now. MY GF just moved out of our home tonight. This is my first night alone in 5 years. She moved out and I had to leave because the sight of her moving & being happy without me drove me crazy. After she was gone I returned to the home, and was very happy to find that she did not steal anything and had left me "I love you notes" all over the place. This is kind of mental masturbation if you ask me, if she really loved me she would not need a "Break" at all. I will work on fixing issues I discovered that lead to this point, not for her... but for me.

[nickshehe]

He said he loves me and that he could see us getting married in the future, but that he thinks he wants to take the summer and not be together. I don't know if I can do that, I have always been and still am in love with him.. im just sooo lost.. help!

Roughly translates too:
"I want to whore myself to other girls over the summer and have fun with my friends and not worry about you. After I'm done, if nothing comes up then I'll probably come back to you -unless of course I realize how much fun I'm having with my friends and being single isn't that bad."
--
I'm sorry to be so brutally honest with you but that's what he wants.. and considering you can't control his life since it is his own - there isn't much you can do for the TWO of you. But guess what the good news is? You're in control of your own life - not many of us acknowledge that PRIVILEGE. It's hard but you have to move on. We've all been there - some of us are there now. Find a place to stay away from him.. and focus on getting your life back together.. Summer isn't a time to sit around and be unhappy over someone who is undeserving... You have every right to be angry and upset - but you should love yourself enough to not put anyone above your own life.. He is clearly not worth it.
He has disrespected you in every possible way with a statement like "I want the summer for myself".
You deserve a lot better than someone like that.. I'm so sorry and I truly sympathize.

[dreaming08]

I really don't think that the break will make you guys closer. If anything it's going to cause more problems. Have you thought about what is going to happen when/if you guys get back together? You will probably always think about what happened on the "break." How would you be able to trust him not knowing what happened during the summer. Its up to you, but I would personally just end it. It's going to be hard getting over him, but eventually you will. Every girl deserves a guy that will give her the world!

[Chery]

Wow, what a wonderful guy! He is going to have a great summer and not even give a thought on whether you will have a good time or not. I bet he didn't even bother to ask what your plans were for the summer , just expected you to be there when he decided to wonder back. He certainly trusts you to stay at home, pining away and still loving only him. What an inconsiderate jerk this person is!

He is so sure of himself that he has totally forgotten all about you already. He proved that by hardly being 'home' but still sleeping comfortably.

Is this what you want for the rest of your life?? Please wake up, and start living your life. There are other people out there, some with real feelings and emotions - all you have to do is give them a chance to get to know you.

Tell him he can keep his phonecalls to himself from now on because you have better things to do, like getting on with your life and not holding your breath until he comes back. Please, please gain some self-respect and never place anyone in the center of your universe again.

I know it hurts, but in the longrun, you'll get over it and have one great big lesson learned. It can only get better from now on.

It's his loss. Don't waste your love on him any more - he does not deserve it.

[JBeaucaire]

A "break" is just another term for "breakup". It sounds less permanent, is full of hope for the future, and in my opinion, is WAY more destructive to your heart since it is a lie couched in half-promises. Harsh, but true time and time again.

I'm sorry for your loss. But you need to treat this situation like a real "he dumped me" situation. At least that is honest.

The further truth is you've been together plenty long enough. Your relationship was probably over long ago (from a "growing" standpoint, I mean) and you two were simply too comfortable to end it. That's unfortunate.

All the things people think are "normal" nowadays like a completely developed sexual relationship and even living together didn't help at all here, either. Did it?

He's been honest enough showing you that he doesn't believe you are what he needs any more. You need the same realization. My hope for you is that you accept what has happened, let him go so you can BOTH go and find what you truly need.

Resist the same habits that didn't work out this time. Dating, date, date, commit, then marry... forsaking all others. All the other variations are unnecessarily risky and that is something you DON'T need.

Good luck, and take care.

[talaniman]

When a no good punk tells you a tired line like that... RUN, and don't come back!

Cut all contact with him forever. Don't you think you deserve better.