[zooropa1985]

We all know the initial break up is shocking and hurtfull but I don't believe that that is the hardest part to deal with, oh no in fact that part could be the easiest and here's why...

I do believe that for the first few days after the break up we all have this denial that sets in, sure we are crying and saying the world is over BUT there's always that little voice in the back of your head telling you its not over yet, there's still a chance.

I think that this is some kind of phychological defense mechanism that sets in to prevent shock or real damage to the mind, it's a kind of survival tool that we use. There is however a major problem with this in that as long as we don't believe its over we will never get over it, in fact its usually at this point that we text and call our ex's like crazy trying to beg them to stay with us and make everything better.

I should know for this is where I am at this point in time, I'm at the denial stage, trying to get my ex to see sense and realise what a stupid thing she has done.

Now for the hard part...

Yes the real tough part is when that denial ends and you realise that it is really over, that you can never go back. I believe its at this point when most peeps start doing no contact, I say start because we all have our knock backs when we are feeling lonely, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with that, as long as it isn't frequent.

You see up to this point our hopes and dreams were still alive but that's all they ever were, hopes and dreams, not reality.

The problem with being the dumpee is that while we spend a week or so in the denial stage the dumper has had a week to realise that they did the right thing, thus leaving the dumpee with an overall feeling that they were never cared for or loved in the first place.

Like I said this is the part that I'm now entering, literally and I was in tears all day, I know I can get through it and so can you, its just going to take a lot of time and patience.

Why hang on to the one person who breaks your heart when there are hundreds out there to mend it

[mattyamaha_27]

I hear you, the mind is very complex and has interested me so much I have thought about studying physcology. But I just look at the bright side. I have my ups and my downs throughout the break up. Somedays I feel great others I feel lonely and lost. I miss her and love her, but sometimes we can't have what we want. I am starting to see things I wish she hadn't done and thinking a little more about the bad stuff. Everyone says it gets easier, and most usually end up findind someone way better. Be thankful for what you have and try not to think about what you cant/maybe are better off with out.