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dunnowhat · Apr 20, 2008, 12:12 PM

OK well let me start by saying that I recently got dumped by my boyfriend of 7 months. We both love each other very very very much... we broke up cz I had done a mistake that wasn't a big deal,but it was the cherry on top of many many many mistakes... hes my first serious relationship and I loved him from the bottom of my heart... he's everything to me and he represents happiness... after we broke up.. I tried to get back with him and promised him that I will change and I really wanted to! But 1 week ago there was this concert for david guetta that I wanted to go to. I know he doesn't like me to go to concerts and stuff like that without him or alone cz there are too many guys alcohool drugs... but stupid me,I went... so he sent me an sms saying that everythng was over cz I shldnt of been there... so at that night I was so sad and I cldnt leave cz my best friends wanted to stay there with her best friends.so one of her friends , a guy, came and started dancing with me to make me feel better , but he started getting closer and closer and I was pushing him but he wldnt understand and I was so weak cz I was so sad so I danced with him but I was holding my tears so I started telling my best friends to get him off me and finally she did so afetr that night I appologised to my ex and started begging for another chance, we were making a progress until one day his friend shows him a video of me dancing with that guy so he got so furious and now he doesn't want to talk to me , he blocked me on msn, removed me from Facebook, doesn't answer my messages or my phonecalss,and he's says that he wldnt be with me even if I was the last girl on earth... and he started going out with a girl, just once, but I know him and she's nt his type he trying to mke me jealous and he did... so help me to get him back!

Ps:he is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stubbornnnnnnnn!

nickshehe · Apr 20, 2008, 04:06 PM

For starters how old are you two? Because by the looks of things you're probably really young..
Secondly you're responsible for your own life.. He isn't your parent so I don't think its in his "boyfriend duties" to allow you to go to a concert or not.. Anyone who would make an issue out of something like this is clearly immature and you should've dumped him before he dumped you.. I'm sure it would be all right for him to go to a concert alone or with his friends.
You come off as pretty young, so my advice to you is to just learn from this relationship and move on.. you'll have a lot more down the road trust me..
This guy apparently loves you so much but he won't even give you the chance to explain yourself?
Going out to a concert isn't a mistake.
Dancing with another guy - could be, I would be angry.. but I wouldn't go as far as dumping my girlfriend.

nickshehe · Apr 20, 2008, 04:07 PM

.. well my ex girlfriend :D

Homegirl 50 · Apr 20, 2008, 04:29 PM

It is my firm belief that whenever you are in a relationship and you find yourself having to beg for forgiveness all of the time, something is wrong and not necessarily with you.
This guy sounds very controlling and prickish. Him dumping you is probably the best thing in the world for you. You may be miserable now, but believe me you will look back on this and be glad.
He is a boy, not your father, he has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do, and this friend of his who taped you dancing and showed it to him is as screwed up and prickish as he is.

Alty · Apr 20, 2008, 05:08 PM

How can you get him back, you can't. He's doing NC and that is that. Personally I don't know why you'd want him back, it didn't sound like you two had the best relationship. Forget him and move on to greener pastures, there are other fish in the sea.

Good Luck.

Jiser · Apr 20, 2008, 05:25 PM

Concentrate on you for a bit and leave him be,

TrueFaith · Apr 20, 2008, 08:29 PM

Jesus he shouldn't control you! You go out and find a guy that will let you be! That's real love not give you rules and crap

:) I think you are better off without him my dear

talaniman · Apr 21, 2008, 05:57 AM

He is a little to controlling for a 7 month relationship, or any other for that matter, and it would have gotten much worse. He did you a great big favor, so enjoy your new found freedom, and forget this jerk. Come on going to a concert with your g/f's, and having fun without him, made him mad. You should think better of yourself.

dunnowhat · Apr 21, 2008, 01:51 PM

Well I tried to move on:S but I just cant:S... he used to be great and we did actually have a great relationship but I don't know what changed:S I feel that I need him back so much

Homegirl 50 · Apr 21, 2008, 02:19 PM

He manipulates you and controls you. That is not love and it is not a great relationship. What happen was you have defied him by not "obeying" him. This has made him angry. He knows he is losing his control.
You "feel" you need him back, but you don't. It's time to grow up and leave this guy alone. Love and respect yourself enough not to be mistreated, and what this guy was doing was mistreating you.

talaniman · Apr 21, 2008, 03:28 PM

I feel that I need him back so much

If you need someone to tell you what to do, and when to do it, then go beg the masters forgiveness.

Alty · Apr 21, 2008, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

If you need someone to tell you what to do, and when to do it, then go beg the masters forgiveness.

Exactly. Go to him on your knees and beg him to forgive you. Promise that you will never have an independent thought again, that you will obey him next time and not do anything without his approval. Are you allowed to go to the bathroom without asking? This guy is a control freak and you are begging to be controlled, is that what you want?

friend4u178 · Apr 21, 2008, 04:32 PM

You need to love yourself first , then you will get someone who loves you for who you are , not some controlling boy who won't let you be who you are.

talaniman · Apr 22, 2008, 08:11 AM

dunnowhat, well I tried to move on:S but I just cant:S...

Keep trying, as it takes time, and hard work on your part. Read the stickies in my signature, for some good ideas about how to move on, after your dumped.

he used to be great and we did actually have a great relationship

Of course it was great, when you where obediant to his will.

but I don't know what changed:S

What changed was you ignored his orders and went and had a good time with your friends, instead of him.

I feel that I need him back so much

That's digusting, that you need a control freak that tells you what to do, to be happy. Not only is it disgusting, but a big fat lie. Learn to cope with those feelings and ralise that you love yourself enough to demand dignity and respect, and deserve to be happy. He hasn't shown you any of that. Celebrate your freedom, and you will find the love you deserve, and he ain't it.

dunnowhat · Apr 22, 2008, 02:28 PM

Well before I read your new advices I was chatting with him and telling himhow I feel about him... actually I have divorced parents and I live with my dad and older sister... and things aren't going sooo well for me... he used to be the only one that took care off me and made me feel that I exist... so I started chatting with him and telling him I was dying without him and I wld die without him he said well if you live you ruin my life and if you die you also ruin my life... he gets like this when he's so mad.. people are telling methat he's so mad cz he really loves me so he's heartbroken I asked him for a chace he said that I took all my chances... his friends are trying to help me.. but after reading what all of you said I'm thinking of giving the whole movingon thing a try... thanks for all of your advices:) bt just want to add that sometimes I feel so strong and I want to move on other times I feel sooo weak and want him back...

Homegirl 50 · Apr 22, 2008, 02:37 PM

Well when you start feeling you want him back, think abut the controlling jerk he is and then get over that feeling. This guy is bad news. Be glad he is gone.

talaniman · Apr 22, 2008, 02:47 PM

sometimes I feel so strong and I want to move on other times I feel sooo weak and want him back...

Haha, that is so normal, and happens to us all. Read some of the threads here, and you will see not only do you have normal feelings, at this time, but are not alone by a long shot. Click on the links in my signature, and get some good insights, and suggestions, as to what to do next.

dunnowhat · Apr 22, 2008, 02:52 PM

Well You Didn't Answer Me For This... without Him I Feel Invisible In The World... he Only Took Care Of Me... how Can I Continue Living If I Can't Feel Loved?I Shld Also Add That I Had Done So Many Mistakes With Him In The Past.but He Makes A Big Deal Out Of Them.. like If I Was Fed Up With Things At Home And Took It Out On Him He Wld Get Mad And Tell Me That He Doesn't Always Have To Handdle Me

Homegirl 50 · Apr 22, 2008, 02:55 PM

No one can make you visible or invisible to the world. This guy controls you. He brow beats you when you make what he considers mistakes. This is not love, this is manipulation and abuse. I suggest you get some counseling so you can see how he has beaten you down.
This guy is all about control. He would not know love if it bit him in the butt.

dunnowhat · Apr 22, 2008, 02:56 PM

Ok... I Will... by The Way... Do U Have Any Children Of Ur Own Homegirl 50?