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worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 01:51 PM

I have lower stomach gurgling, I feel sick, tired and have to use the bathroon a lot. I had a miscarrage a few months back could this be sideffects or something different? Me and my fiansee have been trying for a baby could I be preganat or just sick?

Alty · Apr 5, 2008, 02:04 PM

It's time to take a trip to the doctor. You could just have the flu, it could be because of the miscarriage, it could be allot of things. Go to your doctor if you are concerned, he/she can give you the best advice, run some tests and actually see you face to face.

Take care.

J_9 · Apr 5, 2008, 02:16 PM

Hun, I noticed you posted this in the Child and Teen Health section. How old are you?

From what you describe it sounds like you just have a stomach flu.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 02:19 PM

I am three days shy of being 16 years old. My fiancée is 17.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 02:19 PM

I am three days shy of being 16 years old. My fiancée is 17.

Alty · Apr 5, 2008, 02:28 PM

I think the main concern for me is, why are you trying to have a baby at the age of 16? Are you working? Are you finished school? Do you have your own place to live or are you still living with your parents? Babies are expensive. You have a lifetime ahead of you to have a child, slow down and enjoy being a teen, you never get that time in your life back. Wait until you are an adult before bringing a helpless child into the world. Trust me, if you have a child now you will live to regret it.

I hope you're feeling better and I hope you give my advice some serious consideration. I have been on this earth a little longer than you and I've learned a few things along the way, take advantage of that and read my post with an open mature mind.

Take care.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 02:37 PM

I am trying to have a baby because I know I can take care of it. I have baby sat my little sister since she was born she is practically mine. If she need something she comes to me, if she is hurt she comes to me. So I want that with my own child. I am living with my parents as of right now, but I get yelled at all the time for nothing so I am moving out when I turn 17. I know I have a long life ahead of me, but I have never regeragted anything in my life. The last time I was pregnant I loved it. I was so happy and couldn't wait till that November. But now I don't have that feeling. I feel dead and depressed like I did before I lost my child.

Alty · Apr 5, 2008, 02:47 PM

I went through a miscarriage 2 years ago, so I know how you feel.

Sweetie, please try and understand what I'm saying. I'm going to be blunt and to the point but I'm really not trying to be mean.

It's great that you love kids, it's wonderful that you've babysat and that your little sister comes to you when she needs someone. Do you have any idea about how much a baby actually costs? Giving a child a hug when she's hurt is allot easier than providing food, clothing, shelter, diapers, etc, etc, for that child. I know it sounds romantic, you want someone to love you, and someone who you'll love. Babies are hard work, and expensive. You do not have the means to support a child at the age of 16, you really don't. You are still a child. You may not regret anything you've done so far, but mark my words, if you have a child now you will live to regret it one day, you really will.

You cannot have a child just to make yourself feel better, no child should be born with a job, and your potential child already has one, to make you happy.

Please, think about it. If you need to talk, I'm here, ask me anything, vent, yell, scream, whatever you want, but please, don't have a child right now, wait, you have plenty of time to be a mom, just be a teenager right now.

Take care of yourself.

Wondergirl · Apr 5, 2008, 02:53 PM

Your body is telling you that it isn't ready to nourish a baby. Who will support the two of you? You won't even finish high school, so what future do you have? Two of my nieces had babies when they were around 17. Both of them now realize how immature that was. One boyfriend disappeared and the other boyfriend is in prison. They are living in small, cheap trailers and get some money from public aid. Neither one is having any fun.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 02:54 PM

Yes I know a child is expencive. I was with my mother when she bought stuff for my sister. I use to get up with my sister at night and tak care of her cause my mom wouldn't hear her. I know they are tried some and there is a lot of work, but I want to fill the void my baby left. I know that is stupid and no child should be bone just to do that. Miscarages and still births and death after birth runs in my family. My older sister has a miscarage my mother had a still birth my gradmother had a miscarage and my grea grandme had a death after birth. Its scary really

Wondergirl · Apr 5, 2008, 02:59 PM

Maybe get a dog instead. First take care of a dog for a year, 100% with food and care and doctor appointments and medical costs and twice daily walks and good discipline so people want to be around him.

Alty · Apr 5, 2008, 03:03 PM

Great idea wondergirl, if she can't afford a dog and commit to the care of a dog then she's definitely not ready for a baby.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 03:05 PM

I have a dog. Have for 10 years. She is expence cause she has medical problems but we still aford her. She is a 10 year old white minucher poddle.

Alty · Apr 5, 2008, 03:08 PM

Do you pay for the dogs medical expenses? A child is much more expensive than a dog, believe me.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 03:10 PM

Yeah I do. I was adopted so I get money every month an put it all in the bank.

J_9 · Apr 5, 2008, 03:12 PM

Having a baby will not fill that void. You will always have a void for that first baby.

Hun, I work in labor and delivery, do you know the complications that you and the baby could experience? What if you have to have emergency surgery to deliver the baby? Do you have insurance that will cover that?

What if the baby is born prematurely and has to stay in the neonatal intensive care unit for months. That can total a million or more dollars. Can you afford that?

What if your baby is born with birth defects such as spina bifida, or cerebral palsy, are you ready to deal with that for the rest of your life?

Hun, you are way too young to be a parent.

Wondergirl · Apr 5, 2008, 03:16 PM

Also, you are thinking only of you. Please think of the potential baby. What will that child think of you as it grows up? Will there be resentment about not having a live-in father or that the child was born to a single mother and never got all the normal everyday things other kids get?

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 03:21 PM

I work with children with disabilities at school. I know how to handle them. I love them so much and though they are not related to me, would do anything for them. I know the risks I know what can happen. My little cousin was born 5 pounds and droped down to 4 in just a few days. I know what can happen I have taken child care for two years. My baby would have a father.

Alty · Apr 5, 2008, 03:22 PM

How much money do you get every month? Let's break it down okay?

You plan to move out on your own, have you checked what the cost of rent will be?
Have you made a list of all the things you'll need to buy for the baby; crib, stroller, car seat, bottles, clothes, bath tub, etc. etc. and have you checked the prices for those items.
Babies go through tons of diapers, be prepared to spend around $150.00/month or more for the first few months. Also, babies grow quickly for the first year, you will be spending allot of money on clothes. There is so much more that I could mention, but I hope that this gives you some idea.

Do some research, talk to other teen moms and see how they feel about having a child at a young age. Don't just jump into this head first without checking things out first. You want to be a parent, then start acting like one, be mature enough to do you research before bringing a child into this world. This isn't a doll, or even a dog, this is a lifetime commitment, FOREVER, and no teenager is ready for that commitment, no matter how much they think they are.

I know that you think you are ready, but you aren't, not by a long shot, think about the potential child you are thinking about bringing into this world, are you doing this for him/her or for yourself? Be honest with yourself, because I know the answer, and I think you do too.

Sweetie, I'd never steer you in the wrong direction, I really wouldn't, I really don't want to see you ruin your life. I know you're probably rolling your eyes "Great another adult telling me what to do and when to do it!" but I really know what I'm talking about, please listen, that's also a sign of maturity.

worriedteen · Apr 5, 2008, 03:28 PM

Like I told the other person I have taken child care. I know how muxh all this stuff costs. I know its expencive I get $500 a month plus the money Steven makes wich is 500 a week. I am not doing this for me. I know it seems like I am but I am not. I know another baby won't fill the void I know it won't help with my depression. People think I am so selfish but I'm really not. I know babies grow fast, my little sister had clothes she never wore.