[NoName35]

I am madly in love with a man for four years. We live together and are basically a "married couple" relationship. I am only 22.

During the past two years I have found it more and more difficult to not be attracted to other men, only on a physical level. Like I said I love my boyfriend more than anything and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but am having a problem knowing if I should be doing more partying in my youth or settle down and be lucky I found such an amazing man to spen my life with. We have an awesome relationship, we are best friends, lovers, we communicate and are honest with each other and trusting.

Last night I went out with my girlfriends and got drunk and made out with someone else. An old friend from high school.

I now feel as if I have satisfied that urge "to know" if I am missing out on my youth and the party stage and all that. I feel horrible and never want to do that again. I feel as if it made me realize how lucky I really am to be with my boyfriend, more so even than before.

I need advice...
Should I keep it a secret?
Should I tell him - he would probably break up with me
Other advice?
Has anyone else ever felt the way I felt? Or were my feelings unnatural?

Thanks...

[bushg]

If you had sex with this man or could have contracted a disease from him I think he has a right to know. Some std's kill.
Now in my opinion if you did not compromise your health with this guy, (therefore comprimising your bf's health) and IF this is a one time thing and your sure it will never happen again then I say let it go. Kiss his a$$ and wallow in your guilt and learn from it. In due time forgive yourself.

[NoName35]

I did not have sex with him. Only kissed.

[ihatewestseneca]

I would tell him... if you've been totally honest throughout your relationship, why stop now? Don't spare any details as to why you did it... basically, I think you have to throw yourself at his mercy... you did a bad thing to a great guy, and don't forget about karma, even if you don't really believe in it (like me) it still happens almost always.

[duck22]

I think you should tell him. Being honest with him will hurt him now but he will respect you more for it down the road. It will be much easier for him to forgive you if you told him now then if he found out some other way. Also, if you love him as much as you say could you forgive yourself if you did not tell him?

[N0help4u]

I take it he knows you did go out with your old friends and get drunk.
If so, maybe just start by bringing up that while you had a nice evening with your friends that it satisfied you enough to put your party days behind you and appreciate your settle life with him all the more.
Maybe philosophy it a little on how partying is such a big deal when you are a kid and how NICELY drastic of a difference it is to be with someone that you love and how much making a future with him means to you. That you look forward to doing things with him.
If you still feel you need to tell him then he already knows that you have done some soul searching.

[TrueFaith]

I would tell him as well and see what you guys can work out.

Just don't use drinking as a way out, tell him yeah I went out and I kissed a guy. How would you feel if he did the same? Could you trust him again

Its going to be hard to get the trust back he may always think thiat of you when you go out with your friends.

How can you kiss someone else if you love this person?

You are young and I don't think you are ready for a long term relationship I think your more in love with the idea than the act.

Because he is safe and easy. But you want thrill and spill of a new relationship.. I would brake it off with him I think this pattern will just get worse and worse as time goes on

[peggyhill]

I think that you should tell him, honestly. Because if you don't, it will bother you and you will think about it, wonder 'what if someone saw and tells him', etc. It might be better for you to tell him the truth, and yes he will be very upset, but hopefully, he will appreciate your honesty. That will at least tell him that you felt badly enough to tell him. If my fiancé did that, I would be extremely upset, but I would rather hear it from him.

It may be hard for him to trust you once he knows, so don't be surprised if he doesn't seem too keen on you going out with your friends for a while. I hope things work out and hope that, if you decide to tell him, that he is nice about it and everything goes OK for you two.

[talaniman]

Drunk is no excuse for bad judgement, and you should be honest with him, and seek not to get drunk, and put yourself in this position. Google HERPES, and see that even kissing another man, can have consequences, and I hope the experience has taught you something.

[life1973happened]

Surprisingly, I disagree. In fact I think the only thing telling him will do, is help to relieve the guilt you have, which is selfish and inconsiderate. While relieving you of this burden you transfer that weight to a man who sounds like he is a diamond in the rough.

What you did was wrong and you will make it much worse by sharing it with him. What do you hope to gain? What could there possibly be helpful or positive by sharing your desire, 'to know'? Think about what you are really asking here?

Wonderful, loving and faithful men are already hard to find it's a shame you needed to know what you think you might be missing. I think instead of asking us if you should tell him about a kiss or not, should be what you are doing in this type of relationship. I have a very hard time believing you have squashed any ideas of exploring outside of this relationship because of one kiss. You need to take a step back and re-evaluate what you are doing and why. That kiss should be a wake up call for you on what you really want and need from a relationship.

I don't think you are at all ready to settle down in a serious relationship. You seem to be playing house, all the while still caught in an immature stage of your life. Unfortunately, you are dealing with a real human being with a heart. Relationships are extremely hard and once you settle down it becomes even harder. And if at 22 years old these are the types of things you are doing, and thoughts you are having, you need to take a step back.

[youcantstop48]

If you were madly in love with him then you would not have done it, so you need to rethink your feelings...

[pasiria]

This is my opinion. This is what I would do. I would deal with my guilt. What he doesn't know can't hurt him. It is a fact that alcohol impairs your thoughts and judgement. You made a mistake, you are only human. We've ALL made mistakes. Thank God it was only kissing and that it opened your eyes. You now know how you feel and it doesn't sound as if you would do it again. Like you said, if you tell him he'll break up. You know him better than any of us.

[talaniman]

If your relationship is that fragile, then maybe you need to rethink that, as well as your drinking