[nick88]

Ok so I planned a surprise party for my boyfriends birthday at my house. I got a keg, cake, everything. I spend a lot of time and thought into this because I really love him and I wanted him to have a good time on his 20th birthday. He thought we weren't going to do anything. So I was nice enough to do something like this for him, specially that it was a surprise. I borrowed money from my dad and I charged 10$ for the people who wanted to drink. You know this could help me out to pay for the money I owed my dad. The day of the party two of his friends weren't drinking because they didn't have any money. So my boyfriend comes up to me and tells me that that "let them drink, ill pay for the rest of what you owe your dad." I was like OK, that's nice of him even though its his own party you know. The party ended and evrything, now I owe 70$ that I don't have, so I tell my boyfriend and he is like OK, fine. Well he did tell me that he was going to pay for the rest. I mean I feel bad because he wasn't supposed to pay for anything, it's his own birthday party. Now the problem is that he calls me up the other day and tells me, "i was thinking, since im paying 70$, i should have the rest of the keg." NOW this apalled me because what kind of boyfriend tells something to your girlfriend to try and help her out, and now changes his word because he wants to get something out of it. I mean this is ridiculous, don't you think? He sees nothing wrong with this at all, he thinks I'm flipping out for no reason. He thinks that he would be paying for nothing. And that hurts me because I was nice enough to throw a party for him at my house, and also my parents are very strict and they let me have it. My house even got dirty in which my mom had to clean the next day. I don't see the appreiciation and respect he has for me. I don't know, but am I wrong to feel like this or is he right that he should have the keg??

And its not even about the keg and the money. It's the action he's saying. This is not a business, you know. And it's not like I went up to him and I told him he has to pay. He's the one who offered. He told me that he told 8 people about it, and they all agreed that he should have the keg. Even his own parents told him not to pay for something he didn't plan. Who's right? I would like know other people's opinion of this situation. Thank you.

[HistorianChick]

Darlin, I'm seeing a couple things in this question... You may not like my response, but you asked for honest opinions! :)

First, you're making this party about you. You are right, it was very sweet of you to organize this surprise birthday party for him and to go to all the trouble of borrowing money and using your parents house. But, you've changed this from a beautiful, self-less gesture into "I don't see," I think its ridiculous," "I was nice enough," "I was appalled," etc. etc.

Second, you said "this is not a business"... but hon, you made it into a business deal when you borrowed money, promised to pay it in return, charged your guests to drink, and accepted your boyfriends word that he would cover his friends. That is a business transaction. Your boyfriend went above and beyond and said that he would pay for his friends... his parents are correct. He didn't know a thing about the party and yet agreed to paying for his friends.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with giving him the rest of the keg... I mean, it was his party, right?

I'm sorry if this has upset you but I really think there are more issues than just a keg and $70 going on here. You said that you don't see the appreciation and respect for you - is this the only problem? Has your relationship been going downhill for a while and this is just the first time you've expressed your feelings?

Tell us some more back story on this before the party... Maybe there will be something there.

You were so sweet to do this for him, don't turn it into a thing that will hurt your relationship. Maybe try and work something out with your Dad where you can pay off the money over time or do some work for him. If its really about the money, you can work out a deal.

Good luck, hon!

[vargastalent]

Lets start by pointing out that you feel unappreciated, you gave him this nice big party and now there is a problem. Remember you gave him this party so he can have a good time on his birthday that was his present right? So why not give him the keg. Let him have it. But he did offer to pay the $70 dollars that his friends couldn't pay so he should pay for that or at least get his friends to pay him or you back. Did you over react maybe just a little.

[talaniman]

HC is so right, and well, what were you going to do with the darn left over beer anyway? Give it to dad? Your boyfriend owes money, because he agreed, and so did you. Be mad about that, and give him the rest of the keg, or have another party, and charge them for drinking it up. The most he has done here is not keep his word. Or tell him his birthday is over so pay up, and buy the rest of the keg. You have a lot of options, as to how to handle this situation, and getting mad should not be one of them. Just be fair about it, and let everyone else get mad.