[jomore]

Girl broke up with me, I want her back, so I figure making her jealous is one way around it.

It may not be the best, but it's all I can think of right now.

I get the feeling she'd be willing to give it another go (albeit in a few months), so I want to "subliminally" ease it into her mind that I'm the right one (and I figure jealousy would work - I think it would with me).

Any ideas on how to go about making someone jealous?

[Matteus]

Read this:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ex-161312.html

[shygrneyzs]

You want to make her jealous so that she comes back to you? Why even bother with this petty behavior? If you have to resort to some low down scheme to get her back, is it worth it? It is deception! If you do get her back, it is all based on a lie.

Her seeing you with another girl may not trigger her feelings at all. Who broke this relationship up?

[talaniman]

Not only is this type of behavior manipulation, its also selfish and uncaring. All it will bring you is misery and pain.

[jomore]

It was her who broke it off, citing reasons for "not wanting" to be in a relationship at the moment. I've asked her if her feelings for me had changed and she changed subject.

I'm not looking to make it obvious or blatant what I'm trying here to get her back, but as I mentioned I've got a feeling that this breakup won't be forever... that this is some sort of test for me to wait for her (I know that saying that will probably get me loads of "move on" or "you're wrong" replies, but frankly I'm not interested in that sort of destructive comments - I want to think positive).

I just feel that making her feel even slightly jealous might do 2 things:
a) make me feel better - NC is hard without knowing what your ex is doing, so putting yourself on the front foot and making her feel more lonely can only be a good thing;
b) make her depressed and think harder (than she already has) about the relationship - what it meant to her and what she'd miss.

@talaniman - I don't think its manipulation, selfish or uncaring - its simply another way of dealing with a break up. If you've been on the rough end of a breakup you know you've tried making your ex jealous yourself. I'm just trying to open a discussion to see where we end up. If it does bring pain and misery, fine, but I don't care at the moment. It'd be a learning curve.

[Bdfoster31]

Girl broke up with me, I want her back, so I figure making her jealous is one way around it.

It may not be the best, but it's all I can think of right now.

You know deep down that it is not going to solve anything if you just make her feel jealous by going out with another girl.

More than likely, she's going to relatiate by doing the same to you, or she's going to be turned off by it another way.

[jomore]

You know deep down that it is not going to solve anything if you just make her feel jealous by going out with another girl.

More than likely, she's going to relatiate by doing the same to you, or she's going to be turned off by it another way.

I wasn't intending to go out with another girl - if it's a test, I'll pass with flying colors. I didn't mean making her jealous by obvious ways, just subtly. It may be a risky tactic, but I'm willing to go for it. If she retaliates, I'll find out something about her feelings (instead of her changing the subject).

I was hoping for suggestions of making a girl jealous in a cunning way!

[shygrneyzs]

You mentioned the learning curve - fine and dandy if it only involves you - but you are attempting to involve someone else. You do not have a right to do that, to connive up a scheme to entangle your ex into your life again. Besides - if you work on getting her jealous, that means you are going to be USING someone else in this and that person will get hurt by you. Unless this other person knowingly enters into this half baked idea of yours.

Instead of wasting precious time trying to get some sort of "even steven" out of this, work on bettering yourself. There are better ways to handle a break up, better things to do after a break up.

READ:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

[breakmealive]

Yea. Making a girl jealous just to do it is not the right way to go about it. It will end up badly. Childish behavior much?

[jomore]

You mentioned the learning curve - fine and dandy if it only involves you - but you are attempting to involve someone else. You do not have a right to do that, to connive up a scheme to entangle your ex into your life again.

You're right in that I don't have a right to connive up a scheme - and that isn't my intention. She's in my life, we're in the same circles. She's entangled in my life (and I in hers) either way.

Besides - if you work on getting her jealous, that means you are going to be USING someone else in this and that person will get hurt by you. Unless this other person knowingly enters into this half baked idea of yours.

As I've mentioned before, I'm looking for ways that doesn't mean me going out with someone else to make her jealous. I'm looking for other ways. I don't intend to use anyone else


@breakmealive - Its not just to do it - it's to make her think more about our relationship - its likely that after the breakup she'd be wondering if she had made the right decision, but I doubt that she'd be thinking all that hard about it - what I want to do is to encourage her think that bit harder about it. And that isn't manipulation because it doesn't force her to think about it. I don't think it's childish, either.

[Alty]

Why don't you try honesty, since it is what keeps a relationship going? Wow, I'm glad I'm married and don't have to date anymore.

[jomore]

@Altenweg - thanks for the suggestion, but unfortunately the relationship's over, not struggling!

Otherwise I would try honesty, but since I'm going through NC, I think this is the best way of making herself question it more. Thanks anyway!

[friend4u178]

All
Here is Jomore' story below.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ks-156297.html

Jo
Manipulations and games never work , and if they did you would be getting someone back under false pretences. Stay NC and if it's meant to be she will come back , no point pushing her further away.

[stonewilder]

I can see why she broke up with you.

[jomore]

Yeah, sure, you can assume everything from a few post... obviously you're an expert. Jerk

[jomore]

@friend4u178 - thanks for adding a link - you really shouldn't have - things change a lot within a short space of time.

---

Why is everyone here so bitter about every breakup. Yeah, I'm sad and depressed and I want my girl back... who hasn't been in this situation before? You wouldn't be on this site if you hadn't - people who give bad feedback are still bitter about the one "who got away", and therefore are also bitter and reluctant to give any positive advice to others who have just got themselves in the same situation. You don't want to help - you want to be jerks, and by giving bitter advice, you feel a little better about it.

I'm trying to open a discussion but everyone is trying to close it down. This discussion is not just for my benefit - its for anyone else who has had a hard time recently. It's ultimately down to the individual what they decide to do, and EVERY SINGLE OTHER post on this website seems to just be bitter. I'm just opening a discussion to give other people (as well as myself) a different outlook. We shouldn't just give everyone a 1 door option.

Doesn't anyone else here get what I'm on about?

[stonewilder]

yeah, sure, you can assume everything from a few post... obviously you're an expert. Jerk

I'm going to come to another assumption and guess that you are talking to me? I didn't look at a few post, I looked at only this one. That's all I needed to look at to see how immature your way of thinking is. Since I am a woman, I think the more appropriate word for me would start with a B.

[friend4u178]

[QUOTE=jomore]@friend4u178 - thanks for adding a link - you really shouldn't have - things change a lot within a short space of time.

Jo
Sorry if you didn't want me to add the link but sometimes it's best if everyone knows the story , the more info the better. People can quite easily see your previous posts anyway but just made it easier for them.

[Synnen]

We're not bitter about relationships. Many of us are IN happy, healthy relationships.

Unfortunately for most of the askers--we've been there, we've done that, and we see how childish it is to HAVE to have a person back.

Once you've broken up, taken a break, separated, whatever--the relationship is OVER. Done. Kaput. Finis. The End. Etc.

The ONLY things that you can do to make a person attracted to you again are to be yourself, don't play games, get out there and do things that YOU enjoy, things for YOURSELF, not because you think it will get you someone else.

Getting someone back is next to impossible, ESPECIALLY in the first year after it happens.

It's sounds harsh and bitter--but really---why do you want to be with a person that doesn't want to be with you?

[jomore]

Fair enough... if they bother to read them before making assumptions.