[ryaninvegas]

I am doing nc. I think its my best option but does it ever work??
I feel sooo hopeless... is it better than maintaining SOME friendly communication?

[Ash123]

Oh man - people get the girl back all the time...
I have. Others have... in the past and in the future.
The key is wanting them back for the righ reasons: mutual respect.


But unless you did something specific, you should hang back... and focus elsewhere.
It's empowering, the more you work on it.

My help guide below should give you a template.

Good luck!

[madaman]

I think most everyone 'wants' their girl back. The question is whether you really should let them come back. In a lot of situations the person is just scared of the future without her, and can't see that the breakup was for the better.

In theory I want my ex back, but she cheated on me and I would never take her back. In the past I have gotten back together with an ex, and we stayed together for 2.5 more years after that, but it was a damaged relationship that was on a constant downslide. Depending on the breakup circumstances, sometimes its impossible to ever get back what you had.

If you want real stories, read all the bigger threads on this forum and see that most people go through the 'how can I win her back phase' all the way to the accepting she is gone and moving on with their lives phase.

[Jiser]

Well me and my ex got back together twice. With a week separation each time. That was like 10 months ago. Haven't spoke since July now and I am glad she's out of my life. You will probably find you won't care about your ex after a prolonged period of NC. Its probably better that way as well if they mucked you about or hurt you.

I may contact my ex again in the future when a large amount of time has gone passed but I don't forsee that being for a long long long long time.

[ryaninvegas]

Thanks guys. I made the mistake of groveling for a couple weeks, a barage of texts and phone calls. Crying and pleading. So lame... I had broken up with her. I showed her all my cards and she stepped all over me. Suddenly she was SOOO cold and I found she started seeing a guy, even staying with him. She's NOT THE SAME PERSON. She tells me that I was bad to her and that I'm freaking her out. Its all uphill and I don't see any light anymore. She says she drempt I died and was sad about it. Also that I had sex with a celebrity. So I know I'm on her mind. Then she said she would reconcile and would come back to me if she could... but right now she's very happy with her current relationship. I guess I'm option 2 or is she just bs'ing me for an easy let down or stringing me along. Its been several months... songs have more meaning than ever, I've read countless books, seen councilors to improve myself and I still find myself yelling and crying even. I've never been like this before.always strong... ocd's kicking my a$$. Thanks for the help & support guys
Also she said she just needed time and I think I didn't observe enuf time. Maybe she would have come back... should have done nc sooner maybe

[madaman]

Don't keep dwelling on the decisions of the past. All you can do is learn from the mistakes you think you may have made this time around and NOT do them in the future. No matter how much time/effort/money you waste, you can never change the past. Use this time/effort/money to change your future for the better. And that doesn't mean trying to impress her into coming back. It means getting yourself to a point where you are OK without her, and are improving your life for yourself, and the next person you meet.

[daveycool75]

Hey I got an ex back after more then a year but it was only when I was completely over her and dating someone else she realized that she wanted to give it a second chance now I am dealing with another breakup (different girl) and should start following my own advice. Remember if she does contact you act happy and don't ever be needy if you don't need her then you are in control