[faith314]

This is such a complicated matter that I wonder how I even got involved with it!
OK, I went out with this guy, he was really involved with his weekend sport and partying with these guys so after a month and a half he just broke it off with me... really no reason, he just didn't have "butterflies" or some bs like that. We decided to remain friends, even though deep down inside I had hopes of maybe him coming and seeing the light. A month ago he calls and asks me if I've ever considered having a roommate. I said yes, financially it would help me out etc. He said he may need a place to stay. He and his current girlfriend, who'm he had moved in with, just were not working out. He loved her, but she was bi-polar and flipping out and he couldn't live like that. I took him in.. after a few weeks of living together, we ended up sleeping together one night. We sleep together almost every night, yet he still goes on the internet dating site and finds a girl. He went out on a date with her. Now he wants me to meet her, and I told him this is tearing me up. He said he thought we had an understanding that we were just friends w/benefits. In all honesty he never did say it meant more. I just felt that we were making a deeper connection, and we seemed closer than ever before, even when we dating. He has gone out on one date with her and they both posted on their internet sites that they are in a "relationship", after one date! I feel hurt and confused, and to have her going to this part we had planned to go to together adds insult to injury. I do love him, and I don't want to loose the friendship we do have. He says that he does feel some jealousy when he see's me with another man, but he has no right to it , and I should feel the same way. I have let him know I have deeper feelings, but he just lets it slip by. He keeps saying nothing will come between us. I'm just confused as to what I should do?

[peggyhill]

It sounds like this guy has made his decision. It's too bad he doesn't share your feelings. I think it is in your best interest to tell him to find a new place to live. Be honest with him and tell him that you were hoping to be a couple when he asked to move in. Tell him that you really aren't comfortable with him living there right now because of your feelings. Give him a good amount of time to find a new place, since you let him move there in the first place. Tell him you will not be having a physical relationship in the future because he has a girlfriend. He probably thought the friends thing was understood since there was no conversation about it. But, it sounds like this guy has a habit of hooking up with you when it's convenient for him, and ignoring you when he has other fun planned. You deserve better than that. It sounds like you want a relationship. I think you should look for new people to date, ones that want an exclusive relationship and not casual sex. Even though your feelings are very strong for him, you will be setting yourself up for more heartache in the future if you allow things to go on the way they are. Also, if you have been having unprotected sex, get an exam just to be safe. You know he's sleeping with you and the other girl, there might be more! Sounds like he is a player. If casual sex was OK with you, then that's fine, but if you want more, look for it elsewhere. I would tell him to hit the road. I think he is using you for sex and a place to live. You are under no obligation to provide either, especially since he treats you as second-best. The next time you date someone, when sex comes up, tell him exactly what you expect in the relationship. I hope you meet someone nice soon! You sound like a nice person and I'm very sorry this guy is playing with your emotions. Stand up for yourself! :)

[s_cianci]

It sounds like you've made the classic mistake of confusing love with sex. I think women are more vulnerable to this than men. You'll have to decide for yourself what to do but clearly he does not love you the way you want to be loved. He's interested in sex and that's about it. He lives with one playmate and dates others. He's having all the fun and you're paying the price. Doesn't sound like a very good deal to me.

[Applejacks83irv]

Girl your dumb he's using you? Can't you see that? In this guy point of view your just a
F*@K blow up doll, and on top of that he's out there with other girls... all man! Weman now these days...