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filmchick71 · Oct 2, 2007, 06:25 PM

My partner and I have been together for close to two years. We currently live together and have been for just over a year. I am at a crossroads and need some guidance. The bottom line is that I don't feel like I am in love with him anymore, and I am not sure I can get the feeling I had back. I wonder if it is just fizzling out over time and if this is normal?

He is a nice guy, but I only feel irritated and annoyed when I am around him. He has a 3 year old son from a previous relationship, and I feel that he ignores me and is rude when his son is around. This summer things came to a head. I broke my wrist very badly while I was in another city (three hours away) and required surgery. When I flew home, he did not come and pick me up at the airport because he said he could not leave his son at his parents alone. The next day, he left on a planned holiday with his son and left me alone, on medication and post-surgery, with no help at all. The holiday could have been post-phoned as it was not reliant on flights or schedules or hotel bookings. He said that he could not post-phone it because his 3 year old was expecting to leave and would be upset if the vacation was delayed.

I am not used to children, and have no desire to have any of my own. I do not know if it is normal to concede to the demands of a 3 year old like this, or if this is indulgent parenting and will only result in spoiling the child. My boyfriend seems to think it is OK, and defends his actions vehemently.

What should I do?

GlindaofOz · Oct 2, 2007, 06:29 PM

Your boyfriend is a package deal and it sounds like you aren't that into the whole package. Which is totally fine some people aren't "kid people" so I think you need to be honest with yourself and decide if you can stay in a relationship with someone who has a kid and if you feel comfortable having a kid as the third person in your relationship. If the answer is no then I would think you might want to reconsider the situation.

BTW- giving into the demands of a three year old is not typical. It sounds like your boyfriend feels guilty and as a result is spoiling the child.