[jrisi]

Hey I have a problem that I need understanding on. I have broken up with my girlfriend about 3 months ago that lasted about 1 1/2 years back in high school. Since then I have moved on to college with her going to a different school than me so we have both completely moved on. One of her good friends has also come to the same school as me and I have really started to get to know her and feel that we might have something special between us. However when I finally went and told her how I felt about her, she said that she would love to and be honored to be with me, but she wouldn't because of her and my ex being good friends. My question is... what does that really mean? Would that reason ever prevent us from being together or is it something I should give more time? Does it mean that because of my previous relationship I can only be friends with this girl or what? I don't understand why if she is telling the truth that that is the real reason... why would she pass somehing up that could be special in the long run. If my ex also went to the same school as us, I think I would be more understanding but since she doesn't, and we are all living different lives now, and the fact that she doesn't talk to her too much either, why would she say no? Is it just a big rule that shouldn't be broken? Anyone please enlightment or help me understand this. Any help would greatly be appreciated.

[smoothy]

Simple.. she values her friendship with your ex. Need a perspective on this... How about your best male friend decided to date a girl you just broke up with? Would feel awkward, right? She's just being honest. I've been in that situation twice... many years ago.

[GlindaofOz]

I can tell you that it is a VERY strict girl rule. You never, ever pursue a friends ex. Sometimes it can be done if the break up was along time ago but your break up is way too soon and since this was a long term high school relationship it might have been first loves and other firsts, am I right? If that's the case then you my friend are untouchable regardless of how much she might like you she just would not do that to her close friends. Heck I wouldn't even go out with the ex of an acquaintance.

[Leidenschaftlich für Wahr]

Something a lot of guys don't understand is that girls need security. Its why guys go for stock and girls go for bonds. Anyway, this girs probably sees a secure relationship between her and her friend, while she only sees a possibility between the two of you.
Give it time. She's trying to play the honorable role right now, and most likely has spoken all about the situation with your ex... but eventually she'll grow out of that friendship and go for you.
I must say though your topic was a bit misleading...