[morphrelink]

I've been with my girlfriend for five years now and it has moved slowly.
She has always been a good girl which is fine by me but I can't understand why after five years she still has a curfew with me and we're limited to just a few things we can do. Her parents make sure they know exactly where we are going and what time we're supposed to get back. Than they hound us for information about what all we did while we were out.
At nights with her on the phone she can only talk till ten. We often fight a lot though. She keeps suspecting me of wanting to leave her but I don't. I try to be honest with her every step of the way. Tell her how I feel about particular things. I've never had a problem with anybody she hung out with, guy or girl. I do everything I can to tell her everyday that I love her and she is beautiful. I try to be a perfect gentleman every step of the way. But it pisses me off when I find out from other people things she does that she says she doesn't do. I hear about things she says to other people that I don't quite like to hear. Things that to me hints at flirting or even worse when I found out she had a crush on several different guys. Now I'm intelligent enough to know that those crushes don't mean anything big and that everbody has them, I just wish she would have told me about it. It's bad enough she feels like she can't trust me around anyone else but to sit and lie when I ask her about something? I mean if she didn't give me a reason to worry I wouldn't. But every time I talk to her about those things she always breaks down crying and makes me feel like I the for saying that. I ask her "do you really want to be with me, cause if not just tell me" she would never answer me. Just accuse me of wanting to leave her. " I know you're tired of me so why don't you just break up with already?!" is her most common response.
She's highly insecure but I've been with her for so long I can't help but hold on to any small hope I get that says we'll make it. My friends say different things. "Leave cause she makes you depressed." "you just need to be in eachothers lives more often. like more dates and less phones." my response to that is that I would love to just go out maybe two or three times a week but it gets put down to every other week because of her parents still telling her what she can and can't do. She puts guilt trips on me when I try to have her over while I'm with my friends. She'll just hide herself in a corner with a sad look on her face and when I ask what is wrong she would tell me not to worry, to just go have fun with your friends. I know you're having more fun over their than with me anyhow. She constantly tells me she doesn't deserve me andI constantly have to fight over why I do the things I do for her. That even if she doesn't feel like she means anything to me she does. At times she says she wants to kill herself but I seem to notice that she acts so much differently when I'm not around her. She seems happier. So I have to wonder if I'm the reason she is so emotionally strained. Even so. Her parents pester her about how she's catholic and I'm not. To me religion shouldn't matter. But the way she was brought up, it should. Than there interates chelsea. I've have been friends with this girl since before I knew my girlfriend. I have never had any attraction to her for as long as I have known her. I'm pretty confident Chelsea doesn't like me like that either. To me she is like a kid sister or just another one of the guys. We were both in theatre so we often hung out.
But now that high school is over we still hangout just not as much. I enjoy spending time with her almost as much as I do with my girlfriend. My girlfriend thinks we were meant for each other and until she started going on about it for three years I never thought twice about being with Chelsea. Like I said she's like a kid sister to me. But my girlfriend keeps pushing the bill saying I'm just going to leave her for Chelsea anyway. THat she shouldn't matter. She say it out of the blue while I'm minding my own business. And now it's gotten to where we fight on the phone, love each other when we see each other, and are doing both while talking online. The thing is though she does everything she can to show me that she loves me. But only does it when I tell her I need her to. I tell her every chance I get. And I go oiut of my way to prove it to her. She stays restricted and doesn't take a whole lot of chances with me. Granted now that she is eighteen she is getting more and more courage. She's starting to think positive more as well. But she still tries to lay guilt trips on me to get my attention. But I suppose I'm guilty of it to. I really don't know what it is I'm asking for but I do know I wish things would change for the better and someone or something could show me a sign or give me a hint at what it is I should do. Whether Staying with her is the best for both of us. Sorry if this turns your head over.

[talaniman]

Basically is what your saying is that you've been with each other through high school, and are now graduating soon, and wonder what else life brings?? That's called growing up. Whether you grow and mature together is the question, and honestly only time, can tell you that. Do you both have plans for the future, such as school or such??

[morphrelink]

Yep, mine is hazy caue of lack of funds but hers seems to be going on track. We both talk about all the time how we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. We have a lot of wishful thinking on how our lives should be but it never seems to turn out that way. The one thing though that I've learned we have that shows true love is the fact that by the end of the night we are in eachpthers arms and nothing is wrong anymore.

[talaniman]

I'm touched by that story, it brings back memories. I hope you both enjoy each other every day like its your last.

[Treeny]

Just remember that if things don't work out, that it is OK you both have a lot of growing to do and if it is true love you will find your way back togeather.
{Ifyou love something set it free if it comes back its yours if it doesn't it never was.}

[kt1205]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. And we still have all these rules like he don't want me talking to other boys and I don't want him talking to other girls. And we don't want each other smoking and drinking. And stuff like that. Some people I quess are just worried. They don't want to lose the one they love. And we argue a lot sometimes. But not as much as we used to. I tell him all kinds of good things and I think he's afraid to show his emotions. Anyway, it just sounds a lot like my relationship, just try to hang in there. I get a little sad when my boyfriend talks to his friends. I gave up mine for him. He gave up his but made new ones.

[morphrelink]

I suppose a lot of it leads up to whether I am willing to put up with her love or try to work something new out with someone else. There isn't any contract invovled and I guess it all boils down to my decision since I know even if she cheats on me she wouldn't have to guts to leave me. Hints may show she is interested in other guys, but it doesn't show she has any intentions with them. So I figure if I stick it out long enough things should eventually resolve and I'll find out in time what the truth is. At the moment I know she wants to be with me and all that I see fit to do is stay with her until she says no more.
I'm an honest man and I know even if we don't end up together in the end I'm always going to be there for her. One way or another. I'm not saying my problem is fixed but I am saying I'm going to try and go as long as I can with the "check engine" light on until I can figure out what it is we need to compromise, cause love doesn't work without work.
My philosophy is "without the bad things in life we would have nothing good to look forward to. Thanks for the help. Just reading what you people have to say and what others have said about their lives makes mine all the more bareable.

[LADY_LUV]

It All Depends On What U Want Do U See Her As Being Your Wife Is She Worth Putting Up With For The Rest Of Your Life Do U Want To Marry This Girl

[morphrelink]

Yeah but at the moment she needs to worry about her future. Her career, no time for me.
We haven't got anything situated and it's just been a day by day thing with nothing but disappointment because of how much we struggle just to be together.

[nicespringgirl]

yeah but at the moment she needs to worry about her future. her career, no time for me.
.

I am glad she wakes up on that, u need to worry about those things too. She also needs to find a balance about both relationship and her education/career.
Ppl change every day, be able to handle it will make u a more mature person.:)

[talaniman]

yeah but at the moment she needs to worry about her future. Her career, no time for me.

That's so unselfish and mature.

[morphrelink]

Yet I hate every word I said. I told her that than left her. No reason to, I just needed to get away.she doesn't need me right now. Not the way I am. I'm kicking myself for doing it though. I want to go and ask if she'll take me back but I think she might have already gotten over me... no it's only been three days.. maybe I'm just still getting over her. Though I'd rather marry her. We are too young to really beable to do the things we want to do and I for one would rather not have that dangled in my face as I wait for age to catch up with us. I'd rather wait somewhere else so I don't have to be hurt by the false hope everyday. I can only hope we get back together when the mess blows over and we can have each other like we always wanted.

[talaniman]

Seems to me you have a lot of time to plan your own future. Any ideas?

[nicespringgirl]

What else do you focus on life besides a relationship with a female?
What is your goal?
How are you going to pursue it?

[morphrelink]

I'm just going to take it one day at a time I guess. I'll probably become a writer. I like making up different stories and things. Just cause I tend to enjoy observing human interactions. I've already written a play and everyone says I'm pretty good at it so that's probably what I'll do. Something for entertainment. Though I think I'd prefer to be a comedian.

[GlindaofOz]

Well why not work a job and take writing classes at your local community college? It will give you something to look forward to. There is a lot of work to put into being a writer or a comedian. There are all sorts of workshops and there are comedy clubs that have amateur nights and you could go and try out your material.

Work on a REAL plan for your future and stop hanging your hat on a chick. You need to be full and healthy person OUTSIDE of a relationship