[jenn_797]

I have been talking to this guy for a few months. He is nothing like anyone I have ever met before. He's respectful, didn't always try to jump me when we were together. Just an all around good guy that I actually was in to. So a few weeks ago we started some pretty intense foreplay. The other day I asked him what he wanted from me. He kind of beat around the bush then said that right now he doesn't want a girlfriend right now. Me personally, I don't do the "buddy" thing and don't share (that's nasty). To me either it's something or it's nothing. So I told him that we should just be friends. But since then he is all that I can think about. I really like him, but don't want to get involved if it's just going to be a friends with benefits type thing. Wondering what a mans point of view is. Please help!:confused:

[GlindaofOz]

If he told you he doesn't want a girlfriend it means one of two things 1) he doesn't want a girlfriend 2) he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend.

If you want a relationship and he doesn't then this is not the guy for you. If is looking for a friends with benefits and you want a committed relationship it doesn't match does it?

You will not be able to turn this into what you want. What will happen if you are not honest and walk away is you will continue to sleep with him in hopes that he will want you as his girlfriend and it will not happen.

[Trouble321]

You did the right thing. Good for you for respecting yourself, real men appreciate a woman who respects herself. Don't start second guessing!

[jenn_797]

I should add that we still talk everyday and he says that he misses hangin out. He was never the one pushing the whole intimacy thing. It was actually me. He is the "good guy". I have never started anything with anyone else so soon. But everyone else has always pushed on me and it made me not be sexually attracted even more. He was cool with just being together and talking or watching a movie. Whatever. Which is why I'm worried about hangin out with him again. I think that I might want to start something again.

[GlindaofOz]

Well if you don't want to be just the girl he sleeps with then don't. He told you he does not want a girlfriend and you are hoping to make yourself that girlfriend.

You need to be honest with him. I can see the road this is going down and its gong to be ugly if you do not fess up. If you continue to see him and sleep with him you will think that there is something more to it he will not. You will get your feelings hurt even though he is a "good guy".

As hard as it may be you should just tell him something like hey the other week when we talked about what we wanted I lied. I do not want only a physical relationship I want a real relationship. That's the end of it. Again if you do not tell him he will not know and will think that you are okay with having no strings attached sex because that's what you told him. Men takes us at our word because they are simple. They say what they mean so they figure we do too.

If you can't talk to him about what you really want all that's going to happen is that you will back on here in a month or two wanting to know how to turn a friends with benefits into a relationship. The truth is that rarely happens.

[talaniman]

Frankly I think you should slow down and have fun getting to know each other and forget that relationship stuff for now. As a man why would I commit to some one who I've only known for a couple of months? Stop trying to rush into something to soon and enjoy finding out about each other. Unrealistic expectations with a stranger leaves nothing but heartbreak.