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jelsusmc · Jul 25, 2007, 05:16 PM

I have been best friends for this girl for about 4 years now and she has had a boy friend for most of that time. 2 years ago she took a break from him and we realized we had feelings for each other but nothing really came of it. We seem perfect we have so many things in common, we finish each others sentences all the time and we have to most amazing time together. She ended up getting back with her boyfriend after a 2 months break. It felt like a punch to the face, but being a good friend I didn't get pissed a abandon her. About 3 months ago they broke up again but this time it is more serious she say she doesn't like who he is any more and we've became friends with benefits for a lack of better words. She says she still loves him, I try to be supportive to the best of my abilities but, she can't see what could be of us. We've talked about possibly being together in the future, and she says she doesn't want to be with me because its not fair to me that she not over him. I leave for active duty in less than a year, so I don't have much time. I don't want to ruch her in anything because I have more respect for her then to do that. But I just don't know what to do.

HaRLoS · Jul 26, 2007, 09:05 AM

If you really want to be with this girl, than I think you should wait for her. She just needs to be alone by herself, to get over him. Being intimate with you will remind her of her ex, trust me, I've been there. She is obviously vulernable, and needs some time to think. But if she says there could be a future with you and you want that too, wait for her!

talaniman · Jul 27, 2007, 12:42 PM

Stop haing sex as this has clouded your judgement. Your in way deeper than she is, and she knows where her heart is, so the best I can advise is see the reality of the situation, and recognise she doesn't feel like you do at this time. Your leaving soon may be the best thing for you both. She needs a lot of time, and waiting on an if, is a waste for you both.

LearningAsIGo · Jul 27, 2007, 01:14 PM

She's not ready or willing to have that sort of relationship with you, so you should move on for a little while. She does seem to care about you as she was honest enough to say she's not over him and it wouldn't be fair to you.

Sex is emotional no matter what, which I think you're finding out right now. If you want to at least remain friends with her in the future, you should stop having "benefits" unless she wants to date you exclusively.