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DementedDave · Jul 17, 2007, 07:44 AM

Has anyone come across someone like this before?

I met a beautiful girl who at Christmas, not long after breaking up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years. We had lots to talk about and a great chemistry. After a few dates when things were progressing she said she was panicking about commitment and it didn't feel right. We left it at that.

Recently she came back into my life through a mutual friend. We met up a few quite a bit over the past month weeks and did things together. She seemed very keen up until Sunday two weeks ago. She was initiating contact most of the time. But then, I called over to her on the Monday night and she dropped a bombshell - said that she didn't want to be in a relationship and that she didn't think we were meant to be because she was panicking when thinking about the consequences of a relationship.

It came out of nowhere. I was completely shocked. Two nights before this she had sent me a late night message asking to call into my house when I was sleeping. I was convinced that this time she was very keen. In face, I had been having a few doubts about her myself, but nothing that would make me call it quits.

She has had difficulties with finding someone over the past few years for similar reasons. She says she has not found anyone who is right for her. I wish her happiness and hope that she does find someone. But what frustrates me is that I can tell that she liked me. It was almost as if she was crazy about me when I was playing hard to get, but when I became more available she ran a mile. I can't understand it.

I managed to contain my anger but told her that stringing me along wasn't fair. She said she had agonized over me since Christmas and wanted to give it a go to be sure that she had made the right choice. I thought that was very selfish and I told her that she shouldn't have got involved when she was unsure. I wished her the best and said that I thought we should not contact each other, to which she agreed.

She sent me a long message the following weekend saying how upset she was over what she had done. She said I was right in saying that she shouldn't have contacted me again if she was unsure, but she said that she really liked me but that she is just so unsure about things in general.

I am moving on because I have no choice. But I am really confused by it all. I don't know what to make of it.

Thanks for reading this,

Dave

Jiser · Jul 17, 2007, 08:38 AM

She obviously is, so leave it as that, to prevent you from getting hurt. Let her lie in her own confusion for now.

CallaLilly · Jul 18, 2007, 04:43 PM

She sounds really unsure of herself. Like very confused on where she wants to be in life... and to be honest kinna sounds a little wack. I think it is best that you move on too.

Inspired · Jul 18, 2007, 04:53 PM

Dave,
Coming from a woman it sounds like either she has been hurt really bad or she just has commitment issues. What ever her issues, it is not your responsibility. Do not let her drag you into her mess. It is good that your are moving on because you are saving yourself some heartache in the future. I know what it is like to get involved with someone who has issues that clearly has issues from the beginning. Take my advise, it will consume you and eat you up like a disease. Stay away from her until she can work out her issues herself.

cjnvgq · Jul 18, 2007, 05:37 PM

Advices above are perfectly right. If one day love doesn't contain the ordinary care and when one party has painful memories, another party just needs to move on and let her work out herself, love revolutions!
I agree that you leave her. And you had better tell her "you deserve loneliness all your life".
Please go to find some healthy and normal girls.

serena6878 · Jul 18, 2007, 06:21 PM

I don't believe she is beautiful. Usually beautiful girls would be lucky and wise and they won't be hurt.
She is just stupid and incredulous.
She looks for a happy life, but unfortunately she couldn't find one.
She suffers a lot when she knows she loves someone, but he plays game with her.
She has much to say to you, but she hides them in her heart.
She told you that you were right of no contact and moving on, and she wished you would forget her from that moment on.
She would work out someday herself.
Her life would live in her innocent dream forever.