[Swity]

Me and my girlfriend are in a long distance relationships. As difficult as it is that we are apart from each other, we have been trying so hard to maintain our contact as often as possible. She has been very open with me about most of the things that are happening in her life. She has been honest with me. She is looking for a job at the moment to keep her occupied and have a steady income while we are working on her papers to come here to the United States. She has mentioned an old friend of hers that she used to hang out with who is a lawyer who was considering hiring her as his personal assistant. She knew him from way back before she even knew me. He is single and has shown interest to her before. She claims that she never entertained her advances before and has no intention of leading him into anything. She just wants to consider the job if nothing else comes along. The first time that she mentioned this to me she has said that she would not consider it because she considers him as a friend who sometimes would not take no for an answer. Second it may cause problems in our relationship since the job would entail less communication between the two of us, because of the nature of the job that is expected of her. Now she feels a little desperate because she hasn't found a job anywhere else and she told me that she is thinking of reconsidering that job offer. She hasn't said yes to it yet. She said that she will wait it out this month just in case something comes along. If not, then by next month she might take the job. She told me that she feels bad that she is going back at her word, that is why she needs some space. How should I go about this?

[Chery]

Can I assume that:

.. you have met face-to-face at some point.

.. you both made a commitment to each other.

.. you have a job and have probably offered her some money on a monthly basis or to be her sponsor so that she gets immigration approval.

How long has it been since you last 'saw' each other and who usually initiates the email/phone contact?

Is there no family for her to rely on while she is waiting for the Visa? In most countries in Europe, there is Welfare or Unemployment to apply for when one is having difficulty finding a job and no other financial support.

Right now, I just don't know how much of yourself you've invested into this that would give you cause to be jealous. And if she knows that you would not approve, what is her motive for 'dangling' this fact in your direction..?

I, for one, need a little more to go by before I express my opinion.

Get back with us..

[talaniman]

If you have left her without options, then anything can happen. If you are a couple I think closing the distance, and getting together is the point. Whatever it takes, or she has to do what she has to do to survive. Seems like you would be a better support. She comes to you, or you go to her, is the only solution for this relationship.

[Sweet_Guy23]

I think for this situation, there has to be a state of compromise between the both of you. Talk it out with her man...