[Wondergirl]

All I know is that when I break up with him it has to be in person

Huh? No it doesn't. If you insist on that, you are setting yourself up for failure. Like someone else said, email him or text him or send a letter by USPS telling him (short and sweet), "It is over. Goodbye." Then do not under any circumstances talk with or email or text or talk on the phone/in person with him again.

[Gemini54]

You don't have to do it in person, but you do have to be absolutely sure that it's what you want to do and stick by your decision.

Decide on the day, do it whatever way is most comfortable, change your locks, pack his things up and send them to him in a box.

You should aim to have no more contact with him, and you should advise all your family and friends what you have done. Don't go out on your own, especially at night.

Be very aware that if he is controlling, he may become someone that tries to intimidate you by stalking, or other menacing behavior.

It's really important that you confide in your friends and family - they need to be aware of the extent of the abuse. There is no shame in this, and it's very easy for people to say that you should just leave. Manipulative partners often make us think that we can't leave - mainly out of fear.

[jaime90]

If you want to break up with a guy for good, you need to do it with no contact. No "staying friends," no emails, no visits, no contact whatsoever. If he calls you, pick up his phone call tell him you don't want to talk, and hangup. If he calls again, hangup. If he comes to visit, tell him behind the closed door, that you don't want to see him. If he doesn't leave, or returns- call the cops. Let the guy know that you mean business, It is over, for real. Don't call him up and yell at him- by doing this, you are giving him control over your emotions (even if they are negative,) and you are in a way, connecting, which will bring you closer instead of getting him out of your life.
A lot of women stay with men that are controlling and manipulative because even though they are the "dictators of the relationship" they are very good at being nice when you do things their way. So long as you're obeying them, they don't mind being that 'nice guy.' Women stick around for the 'nice guy.' Stand up for yourself, and don't give him any control over ANY of your feelings. Tell him you're done, and stop all contact.
If he is trying to control how, when, and where you guys 'break up' you need to stop that too. You will break up on your own terms, and the feeling does not have to be mutual.

[talaniman]

Text him its over, and stop all contact whatsoever. I also noticed after merging all your threads together you have been trying to cheat on him anyway, so end this, and get on with what you want to do.