[snakenath]

Well there we have it, I sent my ex of almost 2 months a letter which was loving and had my heart thrown into it and I sent her a birthday card but she has txt me saying that nothing’s changed and that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, also that she doesn't love me anymore after not even two months. I feel so heart broken and destroyed after only trying to be there for her. To me it just shows romance is dead in today’s society and women appreciate nothing. Women complain when guys are distant, mean and emotionally detached but being the opposite is no better. When your with a women who has suffered that kind of thing repeatedly from guys in her past and makes out to you that she wants a loving guy and then you are that guy, you give her everything and are always there for her and tell her how much you love her or how beautiful she is and try your best to do the things that make her happy, it just gives them the chance to become how those guys where themselves and rip you apart. In women’s eyes they can have all the insecurities in the world and can be as unconfident as possible and then expect you to understand and be there for them but if you yourself have any issue like that then there is no understanding and are just considered as having mental problems.

I give up on being the nice guy because that gets you nowhere but back to square one with your heart in your hands in pieces and gives women the chance to get one over on you to make them strong and give them the heart of stone after being wronged so much in the past.

Some people have said to me a couple of things that now stick in my mind and they are 'Treat them mean, Keep them keen' and ' Hell hath no wrath like a women scorned'

Bare those things in mind and that’s the only way to not have a women drive a knife into your heart. I’m done being the nice guy that gets walked all over. Relationships and love isn’t romance or amazing anymore, it’s a war of who can f**k over and mind f**k the other person the most.

Thank you to those that have given me advice on my threads over the past couple of months and who knows, I might need it again soon lol.

(I know this is a statement rather than a question but in my frustration, anger and heartbreak it had to be said. Opinions welcome. Thanks)

[Oliver2011]

You are hurting and that is understandable. Time will help heal those wounds. Remember when a door closes one is bound to open up. If it doesn't then kick in the door.

You cannot now nor will you ever be able to control the way someone else feels about you. Control what you can. Meaning - you are totally in control of how you deal with this breakup. You can decide to be bitter, hateful, depressed, or any other bad term. But that will only hurt you. You and you alone can decide to accept what you can't control and move on. I learned this a few years ago and it has made the difference.

What sports do you play? Get out a do it. Have your friends been missing you because you spent all your time with your girlfriend? Get out and see them. Move yourself forward and this will start to hurt less and less.

Good luck!

[renee garden]

I have similar situation with my friend I gave her evrything to bulit her life as good person , but finally she is so cold feeling with me , yes there is a lot people like this take us like grant or lust...

[slapshot_oi]

Well... I sent her a letter and I got sent more heartbreak, typical?

Yes. That's why we preach "no contact" all over this website.

Stop reaching out to her. Block her on Facebook. Erase her from your memory so you can get out of this negative funk.

[Alty]

I read your post. I can understand that you're upset, so I won't be too harsh with you, but I have to point a few things out.

You're expecting her to love you, because you love her. You say that romance is dead. How? You can't force someone to feel about you the way you feel about them. It sounds like you expected her to lie to you, to tell you she still feels for you, because you made such a grand gesture and wrote her a letter and a card. That's not how love works. Just because you love her, doesn't mean she has to love you.

The only thing you can do is be who you are. If you start being someone else, and someone falls in love with that, then you're not only not being true to them, but you're not being true to yourself. A relationship like that won't last.

Someone will fall in love with you, and love you just as much as you love them. But you have to stop feeling entitled to that love just because you're not mean, just because you do nice things. That's not why she didn't love you. She just doesn't love you. Everyone you meet isn't going to fall in love with you.

Love can't be forced, it's felt. She didn't feel it.

[joypulv]

A card with a letter are for putting away for years. Just in case she runs into more disasters and decides to come back to you. Slim chance, but it has happened. You shouldn't have expected anything more than you got.
What I notice when I read your first post is that you shared a flat far from her work and friends. How far were YOU from work and friends? How did it happen that you got this flat? Not that it matters now, I'm just curious.
Also - while it's good for your own recovery from despair to be angry, don't be viciously angry, or you will be mean and bitter to everyone. Be careful... it isn't easy, I know.

[odinn7]

You had asked about sending her a letter and I was one of the ones that told you not to do this to yourself. You went and did it anyway and now you are hurting even more.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ow-715498.html

Just save yourself and forget about her. Just because you love her doesn't mean she has to love you back. This happens to people... we get our hearts broken and we grieve then move on. If it becomes an obsession, it is completely unhealthy... and you will never heal.

[snakenath]

A card with a letter are for putting away for years. Just in case she runs into more disasters and decides to come back to you. Slim chance, but it has happened. You shouldn't have expected anything more than you got.
What I notice when I read your first post is that you shared a flat far from her work and friends. How far were YOU from work and friends? How did it happen that you got this flat? Not that it matters now, I'm just curious.
Also - while it's good for your own recovery from despair to be angry, don't be viciously angry, or you will be mean and bitter to everyone. Be careful... it isn't easy, I know.

Flat? I think your thinking about the wrong person, but still I see what your saying

[snakenath]

I just find it all so hard. I care for this women so much and love her so much unlike I ever have before to anyone. We shared so much and have so much in common as well as the same thoughts and opinoins on things, we have the same tastes and always found it fun to be with each other whether it being daft or any other way. The majority if stuff we just clicked on and we share great friends too. Ive been with her for two yrs and saw her as the love of my life and the women I would want to marry. Im 23 and she's 28 so its not a teenage fling or anything but someone id believed I could spend the rest of my life with. I understand I can't change her feelings but just can't believe its come to this. I can't imagine meeting anyone else like her, she is my perfect ideal women and now she's gone out my life. Im destined to become just a passing memory and it kills me

[Alty]

I just find it all so hard. I care for this women so much and love her so much unlike i ever have before to anyone. We shared so much and have so much in common as well as the same thoughts and opinoins on things, we have the same tastes and always found it fun to be with each other whether it being daft or any other way. The majority if stuff we just clicked on and we share great friends too. Ive been with her for two yrs and saw her as the love of my life and the women i would want to marry. Im 23 and shes 28 so its not a teenage fling or anything but someone id believed i could spend the rest of my life with. I understand i can't change her feelings but just can't believe its come to this. I can't imagine meeting anyone else like her, she is my perfect ideal women and now shes gone out my life. Im destined to become just a passing memory and it kills me

Love hurts, especially when the person you love doesn't return that love.

We've all been there. We've all been in the place where we're crying in our rooms believing that we'll never find anything as good as what we had. You know what? We didn't find something as good. We found something better.

You will too.

Don't let this relationship turn you into a negative person. Learn from it, accept that it's over, accept that you can't make someone feel the same way you do, and then move on.

I'll bet you money that you'll meet someone else, and then this ex will become a passing memory.

Want to bet? :)

[bigNavySeal]

Please, I so want you to win that bet Alty!

[snakenath]

I think it will be a while until I'm fully over her. For some reason in my mind even after all this obvious shunning and rejection from her I still try to hold onto her, thinking to myself that perhaps down the line she will regret her decision and see that actually I am the guy she wants, that makes her happy and that the problems we had were just superficial. The women I knew originally would actually want my love and affection and would appreciate that I care for her wellbeing and want to spend time with her, so the way she has become with me is something I can't comprehend. Perhaps I approached the relationship in the wrong way but I would have thought that a women that has been abused and wronged by guys in her past and who originally craved love and affection which I came along and gave her, would have had abit more... satisfaction for me.

I know that I have had insecurities in the relationship but they only matched her own and they were things that were being sorted and we could so easily have got through if we carried on. I just sit at my table on my own thinking, why this?

I honestly think that when it comes down to it, I'm just too loving and caring for my own good and I believe that, that is where most men slip up.

Like I've said before, I'm a guy who openly holds my heart on my sleeve and has no understanding of putting up guards towards people so I get hurt easily. Im no player or womenizer, I just want a women to love and show affection for who I click with and who will return it themselves without presenting me a puzzle box to have to crack first.

[Oliver2011]

I think it will be a while until im fully over her. For some reason in my mind even after all this obvious shunning and rejection from her i still try to hold onto her, thinking to myself that perhaps down the line she will regret her decision and see that actually iam the guy she wants, that makes her happy and that the problems we had were just superficial. The women i knew originally would actually want my love and affection and would appreciate that i care for her wellbeing and want to spend time with her, so the way she has become with me is something i can't comprehend. Perhaps i approached the relationship in the wrong way but i would have thought that a women that has been abused and wronged by guys in her past and who originally craved love and affection which i came along and gave her, would have had abit more...... satisfaction for me.

I know that i have had insecurities in the relationship but they only matched her own and they were things that were being sorted and we could so easily have got through if we carried on. I just sit at my table on my own thinking, why this?

I honestly think that when it comes down to it, im just too loving and caring for my own good and i believe that, that is where most men slip up.

Like ive said before, im a guy who openly holds my heart on my sleeve and has no understanding of putting up guards towards people so i get hurt easily. Im no player or womenizer, i just want a women to love and show affection for who i click with and who will return it themselves without presenting me a puzzle box to have to crack first.

It might be beneficial at some point to look at your own behaviors and what behaviors could have driven her away. Were you to clingy, smothering, needy, etc? Be honest with yourself and then you can grow from this experience.

But what's done is done. You need to move yourself forward. Sitting around dwelling on this issue that is out of your control will not move you forward and you will not feel any better. Call a friend. Go to a movie or coffee house. Go for a run. Occupy your mind and I promise you will start feeling better little by little.

[Alty]

Please, I so want you to win that bet Alty!

LOL! I'll willingly take the bet, because I know I'll win. :)