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    deluvlydre's Avatar
    deluvlydre Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 18, 2008, 02:08 PM
    My high schooler is ditching school!
    I have a student in the 11th grade who has been ditching school. He is short credits to graduate and I have signed him up for make-up classes which he is also ditching. I need some help and advice on how to turn him around. Should I involve the police department? Should I ship him to him father who lives in a low income housing community? I at a loss in how to help him. I am a single parent. He now has a girlfriend who lives close by but no longer attends his school due to truancy issues with her in regards to my son. What is a mother to do? PLEASE HELP!!
    dazzling's Avatar
    dazzling Posts: 45, Reputation: 3
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    #2

    Dec 18, 2008, 02:13 PM

    Have u tried to sit him down and talk to him? Not yelling at him or in a thretening manner.

    Just an adult conversation as why he is doing this and why he is throwing his future away? There could be bully issue, there could be drugs, girls anything.

    U can also talk to school guidance counselor.

    U never know what a teen will reveal if u just show u care and treat them like an adult.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Dec 18, 2008, 02:14 PM

    The police always told me 'Your kid, your problem'. They do not want to get involved in situations like this. Your best bet might be to see if you can find somebody that has turned their life around that didn't take things serious when they were in school.
    It sounds like the girlfriend is not a good influence but sending him to his fathers is probably not any better unless he is one to lay down the law and not let him get away with anything.
    I know the predicament you are in I had 4 kids and it is not always as easy as the 'your the parent' advice people think is so simple but it is not when you have a head strong defiant kid.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Dec 18, 2008, 02:35 PM

    Can you arrange someone to personally take him to school, and see him to the door. Sounds sad but sometimes you have to do the extra step.

    A wonderful lady Melba helped me get my kids to school when they were in thie last few years of high school.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #5

    Dec 18, 2008, 02:38 PM

    The door might not be good enough. I have heard of mothers who personally escorted their kids to their class and then after the mother left they were out the door. The mothers still got fines for the kids. I would take them to the Principal's office and tell them he is your responsibility now I got him here.
    engee182's Avatar
    engee182 Posts: 29, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 19, 2008, 08:31 PM

    The best way to deal with this is to talk to him. I did this often when I was in high school. It doesn't take much to get a teenager to turn around. Just a little fear of what's going to happen, or rather what's not going to happen, such as being at graduation. Just sit him down and talk to him. He'll get the message.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #7

    Dec 19, 2008, 08:35 PM

    Sometimes all the talking in the world doesn't do any good.
    My daughters dropped out and then when they were ready they went back for their GED and then joined the Air Force.
    ikryspy's Avatar
    ikryspy Posts: 24, Reputation: 5
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    #8

    Dec 19, 2008, 08:43 PM

    To be 100% honest, if they have no interest in school, they will have no interest in any strict schedule job either. Your son is going to do what he wants, let him figure it out on his own. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, to start getting somewhere in life.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    Dec 19, 2008, 08:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ikryspy View Post
    to be 100% honest, if they have no interest in school, they will have no interest in any strict schedule job either. Your son is going to do what he wants, let him figure it out on his own. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, to start getting somewhere in life.
    Exactly why I let them drop out, Plus I couldn't handle yet more fines for them cutting,
    21boat's Avatar
    21boat Posts: 2,441, Reputation: 212
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    #10

    Dec 23, 2008, 05:04 AM
    I hate to say this is there anyway you can get him into counseling and you being there too? (Theres my generic advice). I see a lot of women post here and I thought I would post a mans perspective.
    Deluvlydre, you're a woman he is a man don't you know that! He is an GRADER, ask him HE is all grown up now how dare you think you can boss him around. He knows way more than you ask him!
    11th grader knows everything. I know I did as an 11 grader.
    See the real problem hear Its part of that alpha syndrome. This is the battle! School is the side effect!
    He has his future figured out in his mind (which is sadly and hour to hour plan)
    MoM It goes like this, his Day Schedule Sex party sleep eat sex sex party eat 11th grade is tuff for many boys. I don't want to offend you but its reality. All my friends in 11 grade talked about is girls sex get some eats sex girls. His hormones are going bananas! So it's a filling up that time with something else. Well believe me it isn't school. So he might go to counseling to please you and get you off his back for now and work you.
    Tuff Love Its either school or a FULL / 2 part time Jobs or out of the house. At this point it would probably be really good for him to be the BIG man and see what its really like to be a grownup and a man. So let him taste Low paying jobs no job skills etc. Let him taste the WORLD out of school. I know this sounds drastic Don't approach it with the ooohh touchy feely thing. Boys as much as they love there mothers they don't respond to the touchy feely thing at is age. Sorry Mom. You have been replaced for the other touchy feely thing GIRLS He wants to be touchy feely with them. Please don't get mad at me or cry because of what I said. I was a boy at 11 grade in a pretty nice school and it was girls sex and girls. Nature jokes on us. 11 ands 12 are the hardest for a man and after talking to my wife she enlighten me about her teens Good luck Act and don't React. Draw on your man side in you Man I am almost in tears now. Iam a guy guy contractor construction worker God Bless hon and Just keep loving PS (post ladies answers )I didn't mean to offend you either the were all good posts and well put!
    survivorboi's Avatar
    survivorboi Posts: 431, Reputation: 9
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    #11

    Jan 1, 2009, 03:26 PM

    This is just an idea: you could ask his girlfriend to help. Maybe? Yeah, sometimes people don't listen to their parents but listen to their friends, etc. its worth a try. Ask his girlfriend or some close friend of his. Do that only when he does not listen to you! Good Luck!
    Vanilla_Swirl18's Avatar
    Vanilla_Swirl18 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 4, 2009, 02:12 PM

    The police isn't going to do anything I know I used to skip and my mom tried to get the cops involed! It didn't work really nothing did until my mom sent me to a treatment center and now I love school!

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