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polska · Apr 28, 2008, 06:28 AM

It's been almost 4 weeks since she broke up with me. It seemed to be getting better but now I'm right back where I started. I woke up at 1 a.m. thinking about her and have been awake since. I have been staying busy, working out, etc. etc. and she is at the front of my mind all of the time. I am hurting so bad. Does anyone have any more ideas on how to cope? I know time is the ultimate answer but I've never felt this bad before.

duck22 · Apr 28, 2008, 12:42 PM

It happens to the best of us. I can remember several occasions where I had those days. Just when I thought I was doing good she would pop in my mind and bring me down. Those days come and go but for some they may last a little longer. These things just take time. Keep your head up and focus on the goal. You'll find out for yourself that over time those days become further and further apart until they are virtually nonexistent.

plonak · Apr 28, 2008, 12:51 PM

I'm so sorry for your pain, there really is no pain like heartbreak.. there is really nothing anyone can do or say to make it better, I know that.. but you do know that time is on your side. Everday that goes by your heart is one step closer to recovery. And yes, that is good that your are staying active, but there will be days where you can't help but think of that person and that's OK, it's all part of the recovery.. I'm sure she was a big part of your life and a lot of things remind you of her, but over time you will build new memories and experiences with your friends and family and those thoughts, with time, will fill your mind, and less thoughts will be toward your ex. Hang in there, you have the rest of your life to live and these painfull months will come and go and you'll be able to look back and realize that you learned a great deal about yourself and have solice in the fact that you survived heartbreak and you are OK.. you can conquer anything!

Smoked · Apr 28, 2008, 12:55 PM

Stay strong, and rest assured you are not the only one who has gone through something like this. You obviously cared for this person a great deal and maybe you had never felt so deeply for someone before. Keeping yourself busy is like a band aide, get out and meet some people. Don't jump into a relationship per say, but start getting back out there and putting yourself back in the game. It will help the healing process and put you that much closer to the person who you are suppose to be with.

losingit77 · Apr 28, 2008, 01:45 PM

Don't worry. We all go through it. We broke up 5 weeks ago and I was starting to feel pretty good and then suddenly today I started to feel crappy again from the moment I woke up this morning. I just focused on the pain, reason with myself that I can get through it, and now this afternoon I'm feeling much better again. Remember it may come and go... but it will always eventually "go".

I try to look at it like if I'm having a bad day today then tomorrow will probably be a good day. You can get your mind there. Focus on other things (like all the possibilities that lie ahead of you now). Think of it like your ex did you a favor. And remember, even the worst day is only 24 hours so you can make it through.

jpm247 · Apr 28, 2008, 02:00 PM

It's the biggest cliché in the book but in time you will feel better. I'm 5 months in, with a couple of hic cups on the way which set me back, so it feels about 2 and half months. But I'm so much better than I was at christmas when I was wreck, and she was all I could think about.

Now I can go nearly a whole day without thinking about her, then some days its only a few hours, but there's definitely poistive thoughts in my brain now, instead of doom and gloom.

Tried a date last week, but the girl wasn't really interested,and I was really only there for something to do, but it's a step in the right direction for me I feel.

Just stay busy, I started a jive class, and its hilarious fun.

Get out in the mix with people. You don't have to be the life and soul of a party, just get yourself moving and out of the house and your room, where your thoughts run riot.

Keep the body active and the mind will focus on that.

And in the jive class there is always plenty of women around too, which is a bonus!

Keep digging deep, good times are ahead of you.