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preity · Mar 14, 2007, 12:50 AM

I had special feelings for this guy during my college days but the relationship just went off unsaid.we met after many years to realise that we shared the same feelings till date.but the situations were I was a divorcée with a kid and he was about to get married to his love.he married her and meanwhile we also immensely fell for each other to fulful our lost dream.But now the relationship between us is not as compliant.for I just can't stand him being with his wife and he doesn't want to leave her.he also says and I also believe that he loves me more than her and wants to be with me but the situations don't permit.I am going into severe depression and turning manic.what should I do? I can't live without him

IkoIkoComic · Mar 14, 2007, 12:53 AM

Yes, you can. And you should. (Live without him, I mean)

preity · Mar 14, 2007, 01:05 AM

He really loves me and cares for me. Which he has proved again and again.he is my only support

freebird1981 · Mar 14, 2007, 01:10 AM

But he is married to somebody else.he had the opportunity NOT to marry his wife when he met you again, he ia a married man and you are his lover, it will never be any other way, he is having his cake and eating it sorry to be so blunt. There are so many other men out there who are single and can give you their all instead of waiting for someone to sneak around to see you in secret.if he really loved you he would be with you full time.you only get one life, don't wait around for somebody who isn't available

IkoIkoComic · Mar 14, 2007, 01:11 AM

He's not going to leave his wife for you. Pining over him will only drive you insane. You must be able to provide your own support- depending on another for support (especially when he is with someone else) will just end in tears.

I know, when you're really in love with someone who is committed to someone else, you will go to any lengths to carry on hope that they might be struck by a sudden epiphany and run away with you to a far-off country, white horse at the ready- But every day this doesn't happen, it drives another nail into your soul.

You may think that there will never be another person for you- but you'd be wrong.

preity · Mar 14, 2007, 01:42 AM

Do you suggest complete cut off the relationship or we recede back and be good friends who are in touch through e media and occasional meetings

origins13 · Mar 14, 2007, 01:43 AM

*HUGS* You can live without him if you have the will.

Deep inside you know there's no future with him. I agree with Ikoikocomic that he's not going to leave his wife for you. If he could, he wouldn't marry her when he realized his feelings for you.

Cut him out. Be strong and move on. You deserve better than staying in this misery.

IkoIkoComic · Mar 14, 2007, 01:44 AM

That's entirely your call. You might find that maintaining a relationship with him is too painful, though. A potential solution is to avoid contact with him for a few months to a year, get him out of your system, meet some new people- then, when you're ready, visit again.

Really, I'm a random stranger- how much can you trust my judgement? *wink*

JoeCanada76 · Mar 14, 2007, 02:07 AM

First - What are you doing with a married man.
Second - He is never going to leave his wife.
Third - You lived without him before, you can live without him again.
Fourth - Depression for what exactly? Because you can not have something that you know is not yours.
Fifth - Move on. If he truly loved you he would have never married the other girl. It is time to wake up and look at reality here.

Joe

preity · Mar 14, 2007, 02:19 AM

His wife has little doubt that we are involved.if she comes to know and leaves him,can we live happily or he would blame me for his broken family

Krs · Mar 14, 2007, 02:25 AM

Originally Posted by preity

I had special feelings for this guy during my college days but the relationship just went off unsaid.we met after many years to realise that we shared the same feelings till date.but the situations were i was a divorcee with a kid and he was about to get married to his love.he married her and meanwhile we also immensely fell for eachother to fulful our lost dream.But now the relationship between us is not as compliant.for i just can't stand him being with his wife and he doesnt wanna leave her.he also says and i also believe that he loves me more than her and wants to be with me but the situations dont permit.i am going into severe depression and turning manic.what should i do? i can't live without him

What should you do? Mmmm let me think...

MOVE on, get a grip of yourself and think and listen to your mind not your heart!

He is married! A cheating married man... who has his cake and yummy he is eating it all, in front of your eyes!

How can you trust him...
Consider this.. OK, what if he leave his wife for you... can you seriously trust this man?

freebird1981 · Mar 14, 2007, 02:52 AM

Call me stupid but I would much rather have a guy all to myself,who I know will come home to ME not come home to me AFTER sleeping with his wife. Why settle for second best when you could have it all with somebody single,free,and able to be there 100 per cent.
Of course he is going to tell you he loves you, he is getting what he wants from you,pure and simple.. sex. If there was anything else you would have known a long time ago.. he is married for a reason,and he could have broken it off BEFORE he got married to be with you, that would have been your answer, he didn't, he married the one he wants to be with.
And of course he would blame you if his family fell apart, he will cut all contact more quick than linford christie on lucozade. I'm sorry, I'm not being blunt, I'm being realistic and I don't want to tell you what you want to hear as that is not reality and you will get hurt if you carry this on.good luck, you will need it if this is the way you want to live your life

talaniman · Mar 14, 2007, 04:44 AM

Remove this guy from your life and raise your child from your other marriage. Get some professional help, as your choice of men doesn't seem to be working for you. You should learn to love yourself, and find out who you are, and learn to be happy with yourself, as the course you are on is all about misery and pain, and that my dear is not love, not even close.

preity · Mar 14, 2007, 04:58 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Remove this guy from your life and raise your child from your other marriage. Get some professional help, as your choice of men doesn't seem to be working for you. You should learn to love yourself, and find out who you are, and learn to be happy with yourself, as the course you are on is all about misery and pain, and that my dear is not love, not even close.

Thanks a lot. It was so loving and caring advice instead of admonishment.with no offence to anybody

preity · Mar 14, 2007, 05:00 AM

Thank you to all of you O loving people.Though you don't know who I am you took out time to share my problem and guide me with your valuable advice

Krs · Mar 14, 2007, 05:08 AM

That's what we are here for :)

michelle5971 · Mar 14, 2007, 05:16 AM

If he is cheating on his wife, he will cheat on his lover

michelle5971 · Mar 14, 2007, 05:19 AM

I agree

michelle5971 · Mar 14, 2007, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by Krs

michelle5971 with all due respect.. if you read my post properly thats what i inclined..... he can cheat on his wife means he can cheat on his lover too!!!!!

Exactly. That is why I agreed with you

Krs · Mar 14, 2007, 05:22 AM

Originally Posted by michelle5971

exactly. that is why I agreed with you

Opps :o
Me wrong! As it didn't come up with agree or disagree...
Sorry :p