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    andy86's Avatar
    andy86 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 27, 2010, 04:23 PM
    Should I walk away?
    Hi Everyone first time poster here, I will try and cut this short.

    Im 24 my girlfriend 25, been together best part of 9 years also have 3 little boys.

    I feel our relationship is dying, my partner and I have blazing rows when I go to the pub. She phones up my friends telling them to pass messages on even rings the local pub screaming down the phone to whoever may answer.

    A few weeks ago I asked did she want to come with me to the local with the kids as it's a social club, she says no I'm going to stay here. Off I went, within an hour she is ringing/texting my friends to pass on messages which are unrepeatable. I try to phone her and she screams down the phone crying and bringing up things from years ago.

    Last Saturday was my mums 50th my brothers and sister and I arranged a surprise meal for her. We booked tables for brothers, sister, plus partners and grandchildren. My partner did not want to go I said OK how about I take the children? NO came the reply, she was more interested in getting this puppy for the children, the children are terrified of dogs! Her answer is to go out and pay a 100 for a puppy? Anyway after the meal it was down the local for a couple of beers with the family, 20 minutes later phone rings I'm getting messages from a stranger at the bar from what my partner just said on the phone.

    I get back to my bags on the door step I knock on the door she lets me in screaming and shouting about how she "fainted" in the kitchen. I ask my eldest son who is 6 "did mummy fall over in the kitchen" he looks at me puzzled and says I don't know.

    Cut a little bit shorter I spent 3 days on the settee she started on me again today because of hearsay in the school playground. I say enough is enough and go to pack my half packed bags. She starts crying telling me how I don't love her and how I do not do nothing with her. At the minute I'm still sat here I feel as though this will come back to haunt me, we have split in the past and she gets to me with the kids the whole "your not seeing the kids" we end up getting back together.

    I now call this putting polyfiller on the cracks which will eventually come back through.

    P.s she is on anti depressants I personally think she has PND she also self confessed today that she needs to see a doctor but also tells me she lies on the sheet what the doctor asks her to fill in. Im on a round about I feel as I should move on but at the same time I find it really really difficult not being under the same roof as my children who I love more than anything in the world.

    Thanks for reading. (If you made it this far lol)
    Guapissima's Avatar
    Guapissima Posts: 11, Reputation: 5
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    #2

    Jul 27, 2010, 05:47 PM

    Whoa, big story... very simple for me. She's SCREAMING out for your help. Firstly, I feel your partner has some form of depression, she's not a happy lady. Not wanting to go to your family do's, irrational purchases, attention grabbing moments are all signs of this. And wow, so young and 3 children, that's a big task for you both. How nice that you can just disappear to the local for a few pints. Can she? Has she any friends? Do you get time out to just be on your own? Do you look after the kids and give her a break? Does she work? Is she getting any time for herself?

    Ask yourself these questions and answer honestly. X
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jul 27, 2010, 05:52 PM

    Guy what are you doing? Take her to the doctor, and don't allow her to lie. Tell him what she is acting like. ASAP!!

    And stay out of the pub until she is much, much better.
    andy86's Avatar
    andy86 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 27, 2010, 06:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Guapissima View Post
    Whoa, big story.... very simple for me. She's SCREAMING out for your help. Firstly, I feel your partner has some form of depression, she's not a happy lady. Not wanting to go to your family do's, irrational purchases, attention grabbing moments are all signs of this. And wow, so young and 3 children, that's a big task for you both. How nice that you can just disappear to the local for a few pints. Can she?? Has she any friends?? Do you get time out to just be on your own?? Do you look after the kids and give her a break?? Does she work? is she getting any time for herself?

    Ask yourself these questions and answer honestly. x
    Hi thanks for the input,

    To answer the questions, Yes she can disappear to the pub although she prefers to go out for meals with the girlie friends. I look after the children as much as she does. We both get out as much as each other I don't go out every weekend I probably won't go out for another month which is why I find her behaviour irrational.

    We do/did go to the local every other weekend together but that has fizzed out.

    No she does not work which is my only main problem with her, her attitude is she has the kids to look after. When I mention childcare or even pre school well that's another bad apple.
    andy86's Avatar
    andy86 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 27, 2010, 07:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Guy what are you doing? Take her to the doctor, and don't allow her to lie. Tell him what she is acting like. ASAP!!!!

    And stay out of the pub until she is much, much better.
    Like I said in my last post I don't get out that much to start with, for me to go to the doctors with her I would literally have to handcuff myself to her. I would be told to stay at home and mind the children while she goes to the doctors.

    I will try my hardest to go with her I think there is an appointment booked this week.

    Im not really wanting to walk away I would rather have this problem sorted and continue in life together. Its just days like today get me to my lowest and it seems the only option is to walk away at times.

    Thanks.

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