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    hasan9946qq's Avatar
    hasan9946qq Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 29, 2019, 03:07 PM
    Should i travel to diff country spending 1000$ just to get introduced with gf parent?
    We are in a relationship for 4-5 months, she lives 3000 km away in a different country. We believe we are in a serious relationship though we fight a lot. To take the relationship in next step, i asked her to involve each others family. Like, just to acknowledge that are in relationship and to introduce ourself through a video call. Also, sharing one of the family member's number for emergency situation.

    But she don't wanna do that. She says she doesn't trust me enough with her parents number or anyone's in family even for emergency situation. She thinks I don't deserve it yet cause I haven't gone to see her for real . So do you guys think I should go to her country, spending thousands of dollars, go through complex visa process to meet the girl i love and get to their home and introduce myself from nowhere as her bf when we don't know each other and can't even speak each other's language? And also, family's view is really important to her like we won't be able to have relationship if they refuse to accept me after we defend our relationship. And in my view, i think we can have basic formal introduction and get there point of view about our relationship first and later we can meet each other when we trust each other better.

    Also, financially it will be a challenge to travel there just to get intro.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,103, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Jun 30, 2019, 09:21 AM
    I am an older fellow to begin with and see this online stuff as a social thing for interactions and building friendships but not serious romances that personal interactions can and do enhance. So I am skepitical of your declaration about being in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against social media interactions but on the practical side those internet distance things require way to much financial investment commitments to be REAL. Its more than just challenging, you could go broke for as you put it an introduction. She for her part is being honest about no trust after just a few months and maybe your pushing things given the circumstances.

    I would suggest acknowledging the facts of this situation, including the admission you fight a lot and invest more in real face to face life building and exploration, while maybe you keep your long distance online FRIEND as just that, an online friend because until you get the face to face, of which may not be financially practical in the first place, you have no real clue this will end in a real date let alone ROMANCE!

    Heed what she said carefully, no face to face, no trust, no commitment. So NO, I feel you are wasting your time on this long distance pursuit of romance, and hope you don't hurt your pocketbook trying. Maybe someday you will be rich enough to pursue such a relationship correctly, but until then build a social life where you are and deal with THOSE challenges rather than convincing a stranger to cut you some slack and commit to working with you on the cheap.

    She ain't going for it and that's what she told you. Ignore that at your own risk.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Jun 30, 2019, 01:35 PM
    In many cultures, it is required, if you don't (or if you do and they don't like you
    The relationship is off

    Asian culture, is really like that. you are not in a serious relationship unless you meet the parents formally.
    You would not dare meet informally first or talk to them on phone and the such. Doing that would be rude or improper.

    It appears you have not taken time to learn culture about where your girlfriend is from
    Specter1's Avatar
    Specter1 Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Aug 16, 2019, 06:44 PM
    You are wasting your time with an internet girlfriend. 3000km = 1864 miles, which is about the distance from Atlanta, GA to Los Angeles, CA, or Paris to Beirut. Find someone within a reasonable distance (less than 80km) that you can go on dates with or just hang around together. The odds are good that her parents would live nearby too. I tried a long distance relationship with a family friend many years ago and we couldn't quite connect over 750 miles (1207km) even though we knew each other for years.

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