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    tamarajoy26's Avatar
    tamarajoy26 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 7, 2010, 12:46 AM
    Should I stay in a abusive relationship with a cheater?
    Hi.. I was in a relationship for 5 yrs.. my boyfriend was very good when I met him but unfortunately things change. He was a weed addict who consumes weed daily at least two joints.

    Initially I used to fight with him to quit, but he started to beat me up really bad, so I stopped asking him to quit, and put up with it. After 2 yrs of our relationship, he started cheating on me, but what hurt me the most is the way he insults me, and throws me like dirt, when he finds a gal. He would say that he is not happy with me, and that I should go away, and find someone else.

    He has done this to me twice in the past... but the second gal he cheated on told me stuff like he has been talking crap about me to her like I am an orphan, and he left me long ago because I dated 3 guys at a time etc and he has promised to marry that gal as well... he promised me several times tat he would marry me and that's why I was with him.I have tried leaving him million times when he used to beat me up for dope and gals and friends etc but he always came back to me and said that he loved me and wanted to marry me and never repeat the mistakes and I went back to him but a month ago he did the same he found another gal and told me that he doesn't want me anymore, and he will never marry me etc.

    He avoided my calls and didn't even let me step into his house... but for the last 5 yrs I have taken acre of him like my own child and he had no gratitude for me.. he has beaten me several times in public as well for petty issues like I couldn't give him instructions to get to place, he has beaten me for asking me why he cheated on me.

    One day he came home with love bites form one the gals he cheated me with and when I asked him and questioned him he beat me up... he beat me up when I caught him cheating on me... he is verbally very abusive... abuses me and my family and for no reason... he is very irritated when he is not under the influence of weed but once he dopes he is the most loving person... maybe that's why I stuck on to him.

    Now he asked me to get out of his life because of the new gal he found... I don't think I want to ever go back to him but all I want to know is that after sinning against me so much, and playing with my emotions to such a great extent and taking advantage of me... will god keep him happy? Will he ever shed at least one tear thinking of what he did to me.. I have cried million times because he hurt me physically and mentally.. would he at least cry once in his life?
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #2

    Aug 7, 2010, 01:06 AM
    No. He will never feel bad about what he does to you. He is using you as a fill in between other girls and does not care about anyone but himself.

    You should have been gone after the first time he hit you. Staying or letting him back after several beatings does not bode well for you.
    I would recommend you seek some professional help or counseling to help you not let this happen again.

    You need to get him out of your life. Get a protective order to keep him away and stop all contact with him.
    He is a danger to you and probably anyone he is around.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #3

    Aug 7, 2010, 01:07 AM

    He used you. And you stuck around.

    He should probably be in jail.

    Stay as far away from him as possible. Don't let him come back.

    Sounds like most of this was him beating on you.

    Get some help, there's organizations out there. Get a restraining order if need be.

    You need to remove this asap. Then get some help to discover why you allowed this to happen.

    Here's your question:
    "should i stay in a abusive relationship with a cheater?"

    No.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #4

    Aug 7, 2010, 04:31 AM
    Comment on martinizing2's post
    Good sound advice.
    The op needs to get proactive now and help herself.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,881, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Aug 7, 2010, 06:39 AM

    Don't blame it on the weed, he is cruel, mean, and abusive, and you should have been gone a long time ago. To stay and ignore the pain, and misery, he puts you through is NOT at all rational, or healthy, and he will never pay the consequences for his actions, until you leave and report him.

    His action are of hate, NOT love, so get some help to get the hell out of his life. The police is a good option because what he is doing is criminal. So report him, and disappear.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #6

    Aug 7, 2010, 08:11 AM

    Get out of his life and stay out of it, hes a ritual abuser and cheat and he wont be changing anytime soon, hes also a drug user, and has no respect or feelings for you of any kind, as for him sinning against you, he hasnt you have allowed him to treat you bad time and time again, he wont feel sorry why should he youve allowed yourself to become his punch bag, what he does is very wrong, but you too are doing wrong by staying with him, and enabling him to keep doing as he does.

    He wont marry you, he doesnt love you he will never be faithful to you or anyone else, he doesnt respect you or anything of the kind, hes using you as a human punch bag, he wont change, but you can, you can get some help either from the police or battered women, and get out of his life and rebuild your own life, If you dont you could so very easily end up dead, is that what you want,? he wouldnt even care about you if you were dead, because he isnt wanting to be with you or anyone. Hes selfish violent, and an abuser. Is this clear enough for you. GET OUT NOW...

    check out this link and read for yourself what he is A LOSER
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #7

    Aug 7, 2010, 09:34 AM
    What do you want to be told? Will he change? NO! He's an abuser.
    Why do you stay? You probably tell yourself you can't do better, you can.

    What will it take to make you realize it's time to make drastic changes in your life? A trip to the hospital? Maybe a broken arm or a concussion or worse. Maybe the morgue, then you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

    You better wake up and stop being an enabler and get away from this guy. You are his maid, his cook, his beating post that's all. I hope you have no children by him.

    He is a bully a cheater an abuser and probably judging from the company he keeps he's probably got low life friends as well. Why do you care if he's happy or not? He doesn't want you.

    The only thing you are to him is a port in a storm, when he can't find anything else. Sex, is it that great with him? I'd be careful. He probably doesn't care who he sleeps with so therefore he isn't careful and he may have a disease.

    I am telling you stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. God helps those who help themselves and since you brought God into it do you think he approves of you allowing this monster around you and your family? I don't think so. Get away from him and do it now .

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