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    lcutiepie1981's Avatar
    lcutiepie1981 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 10, 2005, 06:28 PM
    Should I Let Him Go?
    I Have A Baby Daughter Of 10 Months With My Fiancée Christian. We Been Together Since Summer 2002. We've Been Through Ups And Downs Like Everyone Else. We Were Separated Through My Entire Pregnancy. We Got Back Together This Past December. Since Then His Been Behaving Somewhat Better But Not Completelly Good Yet. He Is A Bar Tender And Gets Out Of Work Every Night After 2am. I Live With My Parents And Since I Have My Baby Daughter I Can'T Go Out Too Much With Him. But He Always Goes Out After Work To Nyc (with His Friends According To Him). I Am Honestly Tired Of This Situation. The Worst Part Is That He Is "saving" So We Could Move In Together After We Get Married. But The Way Things Are Going I Don't Think This Is Never Going To Happen.
    Some Times I Think He Is Just Trying To Get Out In His Own Way And He Wants Me To Finish It.
    There Is A Lot Other Things That Have Been Going On Of Course. I Don't Know If Is Time To Let Him Go? I Don't Think Is Fair That He Goes Out Every Weekend Without Caring That I Stay Home Taking Care Of His Daughter. What Should I Do? Am I Wrong Getting Upset Every Weekend Because He Goes Out Without Me?
    Thanks
    artistall's Avatar
    artistall Posts: 88, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jul 11, 2005, 03:04 PM
    Graveyard shift blues!!
    You are not alone in the situation that you find yourself in. Let's look beyond the surface! People who work nights have different Bio-Clocks and cannot get off from work, go straight home and fall asleep! People who ordinarily work 9 to 5 jobs don't arrive home at 5:30 and hit the sack. They eat dinner, watch a little TV, maybe go to the store, etc. then go to bed maybe 4 or more hours later. Your scenario is very common and in fact is shared by spouses of musicians, firemen, policemen, security guards, and the miriad of other graveyard shift personel. It's not easy for you and that is clear! However, childbirth is something that is unique to women. Men do not carry and bring life into the world and therefore have greater mobility. I think in time you will have better opportunity as the child gets older and you find reliable and responsible child care to meet up with him after work and share some quality time together. If you decide to terminate you're relationship then try to find someone that best fits you're lifestyle and interests. Being sure of what you want in life is a valuable asset. Give it some more thought before you react! Be sure to find things to do that will enrich you're life as well. The more you stand on your own two feet the further you will be able to walk! Let us know what you think! Thanks!
    turtlegirl's Avatar
    turtlegirl Posts: 151, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Jul 11, 2005, 06:52 PM
    PLEASE disregard Packer. There are some rude people on here lately who just want to insult each other.

    In regards to your issue, it doesn't sound like he's very involved, emotionally or otherwise. How can he be saving and going out every weekend? Does he ever take YOU out? Does he want to be with you and your child or not? Why do you say he's trying to get out in his own way and wants you to finish it? There's a reason why this is nagging you -- you're not getting what you need and deserve, and you haven't been for a while.
    artistall's Avatar
    artistall Posts: 88, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jul 12, 2005, 06:25 AM
    Give it a Try!
    It's easy in life to run away from problems! The hard part is working to correct them! Too much emphasis is put into getting rid of someone because they happen to be having a problem! Making mistakes is all part of the maturation process and working through them helps us to grow. If you think there are greener pastures elsewhere be forwarned; it could get worse! If you had anything together when you conceived then you should by all means try to set things right! You are the mother he is the father. He will grow as people do. No one stays the same for ever. It's his problem also and he will one day have to decide if he is going to own up to his responsibility or not. You are both young and so it will take some time. If I were you CutiePie I would spend all my time getting educated so no matter what happens you will have the ability to support both you and the baby. You can't change the past but you can for sure change the future. Hopefully he will wake up to the realization that he is a father and can have a family life. The truth is if his going out is you're only problem then that's not half as bad as the women who are being physically and verbally abused by their mates who are also out sleeping around. There are many free counseling clinics around where you can get one on one personal advice plus there are many support groups you can join where you can meet people who are now or at one time experiencing the same things you are. I'm sure that if the two of you could work through this you will see look back and see that it was for the better. Good Luck!
    BattleAngel14745's Avatar
    BattleAngel14745 Posts: 99, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 12, 2005, 06:59 AM
    Message deleted
    lcutiepie1981's Avatar
    lcutiepie1981 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Jul 12, 2005, 06:58 PM
    Thanks Everyone
    I Think Sometimes We Just Need To Hear What We Already Know By People From The Outside! I've Been Telling Myself For Months Now That I Need To Move On From This Misery. Also, Everybody Who Knows Me And Him Think The Same Way... that I Have To Get Rid Of Him. But I Always Thought That They Where Just Saying That Because They Don't Like Him... now I See That You Guys Don't Need To Know Him To See The Reality Of What's Going On.
    Now The Big Problem Is How Do I Get Rid Of The Man Of My Life. The Only One I've Loved So Far. I Know Im Young, I Could Fall In Love Again... but He Will Always Be There, In My Heart... how Do I Live With That??

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