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MS.CONFUSION · Feb 29, 2012, 03:46 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years and we have 2 children together. Our relationship has always been about his needs. He has always been extremely jealous to the point of me losing all of my friends for him. So I finally got fed up and left him five months ago.

He was devastated he started reading books about getting over his jealousy. He got a job (he had been unemployed for a year while I brought home the bacon.) He enrolled in school and quit drinking and partying, so I decided to give it another go.

And now five months down the road he has started drinking again, quit his job, and is slowly allowing his jealousy to take over again. I feel that its my fault for allowing him to fool me into coming back, and I feel guilty leaving again, but I am really unhappy. What should I do?

odinn7 · Feb 29, 2012, 03:49 PM

You already know what you should do, don't you?

Do not feel that this is your fault because it's not. He attempted to change for you but just can't do it. People find it difficult to change and he seems to be one of them. Seems his drinking and partying is worth more to him than a relationship... and he quit his job? I think he's just using you and you are allowing him to do it.

talaniman · Feb 29, 2012, 11:06 PM

No shame in trying again to make the family work. Not your fault he could not keep up with the positive changes he made. But now that its failed, do what you did before, with no guilt.

LEAVE!!

Climbingrose · Mar 2, 2012, 09:43 PM

He wanted change because he love you. Maybe because you always feeling upset and not happy so the family was so cold for him? That why he feel whatever he trying to do you may not care about? A man without job always feel bad about that. He got a job and why he quit his job? Did you share with his feeling or ask him about that? I don't know if your both sharing enough together or not yet. There are nothing to feel wrong if you give him a chance one more time after you find out the reason make him getting worser day after day? Help your children's father and love him enough to let him feel there are nothing to worry about, to jealous about. Otherwise, find some help before decide to leave him.